I would like to thank my interwebz pal, RayB, for splicing this together and sharing it.
And of course, thanks to Joe Rogan for voicing his opinion.
And thanks to you, for checking it out.
Ahh, nothing says It's Just a Ride like Spongebob Squarepants with blood-shot eyes. I love it.
Almost as much as I love all of you. Carpe Diem.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Every Body Dance!!
This song has many messages.
And I love them all.
Keep it Silly, Stupid.
KISS
The Ride
And I love them all.
Keep it Silly, Stupid.
KISS
The Ride
Friday, October 21, 2011
Heyy...It's Like a Hippity-Hop!!
All jokes aside, this is one of the most hilariously horrible and awful things I have ever seen. This dude deserves his own parade.
From Las Vegas Review-Journal: Las Vegas man with 100-pound scrotum seeks money for surgery
As hard as it may be to believe, this man seems to have a bigger heart than his swollen scrotum.
Turn the right corner in Las Vegas, and you may cross paths with 47 year old Wesley Warren Jr., pillow and milkcrate in hand. Warren carries these items when he goes out, because he needs them during his frequent stops to use as a pedestal for his scrotum, which hangs nearly to the ground. And don't feel too bad for staring, because Warren says he has come to expect it.
Warren has recently gone public with his condition through an appearance on The Howard Stern Show in a bid to seek aid for the mountainous medical bills associated with surgery for his affliction. Warren has been told by doctors that the entire procedure will cost roughly one million dollars, and he's hoping for a little help.
Warren described his condition on the Stern Show to horrifying detail, a version of which can be found in the link provided, but I'll leave out the grisly details here. I would just like to say, a toast, to a man who is doing his best to turn around a bad situation.
I hope, for his sake, that women really do love huge balls.
From Las Vegas Review-Journal: Las Vegas man with 100-pound scrotum seeks money for surgery
As hard as it may be to believe, this man seems to have a bigger heart than his swollen scrotum.
Turn the right corner in Las Vegas, and you may cross paths with 47 year old Wesley Warren Jr., pillow and milkcrate in hand. Warren carries these items when he goes out, because he needs them during his frequent stops to use as a pedestal for his scrotum, which hangs nearly to the ground. And don't feel too bad for staring, because Warren says he has come to expect it.
Warren has recently gone public with his condition through an appearance on The Howard Stern Show in a bid to seek aid for the mountainous medical bills associated with surgery for his affliction. Warren has been told by doctors that the entire procedure will cost roughly one million dollars, and he's hoping for a little help.
Warren described his condition on the Stern Show to horrifying detail, a version of which can be found in the link provided, but I'll leave out the grisly details here. I would just like to say, a toast, to a man who is doing his best to turn around a bad situation.
Medicinal Fried Chicken
Get More: SOUTH
PARKmore...
I hope, for his sake, that women really do love huge balls.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Back in the Cage You Animal!
Hooray!
Three Cheers for the Industrial Prison Complex!!
Hooray! Hooray!! HOORAY!!!
From The LA Times: Borrowed cellphone slams prison cell shut
In 1988, Dwayne Kennedy was charged and sentenced to prison for throwing a man from a moving vehicle. Six years later, while incarcerated in 1994, he was charged with stabbing another inmate. And now, after long years in a stone and steel cage, Dwayne Kennedy was ready to taste the sweet air of freedom.
Dwayne had finally passed the parole board and was ready to go home. He was so excited, Kennedy borrowed a contraband cell phone from another inmate to call his family and tell them he was coming home. And then, as they say, the bottom dropped out.
Kennedy was caught using the contraband mobile device. And because of his wanton refusal to abide by the rules of prison society, the parole board decided to revoke his parole. Stating that Kennedy's actions in willfully disobeying prison regulations proved that he was still a measurable risk to society, the parole board revoked his freedom and slammed the door to his cell shut - for another five years.
OK. Now, admittedly, some twisted part of myself can understand where the prison interests are coming from on this one. The man has a history of violent criminal activity, and an obvious disdain for the rules of civilized society. But isn't five years a little over board? With the estimated costs of housing an inmate for that period ringing in at around a quarter of a million dollars, that's one expensive fucking phone call.
But here's a thought. Why the hell didn't the parole board, upon reaching their decision to allow Kennedy to be released, offer to allow the man to make a call to inform his loved ones? Why was this man forced to go outside the regulations of prison life to do something as simple as call his sister to say he was coming home? I mean hell, the last time this man was free, Ronald Reagan was in office. We're talking about an increase of his prison term of over 20% for making a phone call. If that doesn't shout "Land of the Free", I don't know what does.
Alright, time to put a cap on this one. In closing, a little number from System of a Down.
Because here at The Ride, we like to thrash like we're still in the 7th Grade.
Three Cheers for the Industrial Prison Complex!!
Hooray! Hooray!! HOORAY!!!
From The LA Times: Borrowed cellphone slams prison cell shut
In 1988, Dwayne Kennedy was charged and sentenced to prison for throwing a man from a moving vehicle. Six years later, while incarcerated in 1994, he was charged with stabbing another inmate. And now, after long years in a stone and steel cage, Dwayne Kennedy was ready to taste the sweet air of freedom.
Dwayne had finally passed the parole board and was ready to go home. He was so excited, Kennedy borrowed a contraband cell phone from another inmate to call his family and tell them he was coming home. And then, as they say, the bottom dropped out.
Kennedy was caught using the contraband mobile device. And because of his wanton refusal to abide by the rules of prison society, the parole board decided to revoke his parole. Stating that Kennedy's actions in willfully disobeying prison regulations proved that he was still a measurable risk to society, the parole board revoked his freedom and slammed the door to his cell shut - for another five years.
OK. Now, admittedly, some twisted part of myself can understand where the prison interests are coming from on this one. The man has a history of violent criminal activity, and an obvious disdain for the rules of civilized society. But isn't five years a little over board? With the estimated costs of housing an inmate for that period ringing in at around a quarter of a million dollars, that's one expensive fucking phone call.
But here's a thought. Why the hell didn't the parole board, upon reaching their decision to allow Kennedy to be released, offer to allow the man to make a call to inform his loved ones? Why was this man forced to go outside the regulations of prison life to do something as simple as call his sister to say he was coming home? I mean hell, the last time this man was free, Ronald Reagan was in office. We're talking about an increase of his prison term of over 20% for making a phone call. If that doesn't shout "Land of the Free", I don't know what does.
Alright, time to put a cap on this one. In closing, a little number from System of a Down.
Because here at The Ride, we like to thrash like we're still in the 7th Grade.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Yak to the Future
Welcome, friends, to a very special Today In History edition of The Ride.
From History.com: John Z. DeLorean is arrested in $24 million cocaine deal
Who knew?
As the story goes, John Z. DeLorean, creator of the famous vehicle used as a time machine in the Back to the Future series, was arrested and charged with conspiracy to obtain and distribute 24 million dollars worth of cocaine on this day in 1982. Funny thing is, the charges weren't enough to dissuade Spielberg from using the car in his movies, which weren't released until three years after these charges surfaced.
DeLorean, who is also credited for designing the GTO and Firebird models for Chrysler in the 70s before he left the company to pursue his own interests, apparently was involved in a gauntlet of legal woes. While he was eventually acquitted of the charge to acquire 55 pounds of cocaine, soon after the charges were dropped he faced more legal action involving charges of fraud. DeLorean spent the next two decades paying off millions to creditors. I hope he got a fat paycheck for his car appearing in the film.
All I can say is Goddamn, the 80s were a wild fucking time.
Unfortunately the History.com article doesn't provide much as far as details of the alleged coke deal beyond monetary values and weight of product. I'm guessing that has something to do with the fact that DeLorean was eventually aquitted on all drug charges. But how the hell do you raise those kind of charges against a person when you don't have enough evidence for the conviction? I mean, it's not like they just pull names out of hats to try and lay that kind of weight on.
Luckily, I have found a dramatic recreation of the events as they allegedly transpired.
Chi-chi! Get the fucking yayo!!
From History.com: John Z. DeLorean is arrested in $24 million cocaine deal
Who knew?
As the story goes, John Z. DeLorean, creator of the famous vehicle used as a time machine in the Back to the Future series, was arrested and charged with conspiracy to obtain and distribute 24 million dollars worth of cocaine on this day in 1982. Funny thing is, the charges weren't enough to dissuade Spielberg from using the car in his movies, which weren't released until three years after these charges surfaced.
DeLorean, who is also credited for designing the GTO and Firebird models for Chrysler in the 70s before he left the company to pursue his own interests, apparently was involved in a gauntlet of legal woes. While he was eventually acquitted of the charge to acquire 55 pounds of cocaine, soon after the charges were dropped he faced more legal action involving charges of fraud. DeLorean spent the next two decades paying off millions to creditors. I hope he got a fat paycheck for his car appearing in the film.
All I can say is Goddamn, the 80s were a wild fucking time.
Unfortunately the History.com article doesn't provide much as far as details of the alleged coke deal beyond monetary values and weight of product. I'm guessing that has something to do with the fact that DeLorean was eventually aquitted on all drug charges. But how the hell do you raise those kind of charges against a person when you don't have enough evidence for the conviction? I mean, it's not like they just pull names out of hats to try and lay that kind of weight on.
Luckily, I have found a dramatic recreation of the events as they allegedly transpired.
Chi-chi! Get the fucking yayo!!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
The 999 Plan is from What??
You know, I don't have too much respect for politicians. Same goes for CEOs with political aspirations. So when I tell you that in the past 24 hours I have lost more respect for Herman Cain than any other political persona, it's saying something.
To be honest, I didn't know much about Cain. In fact, I still don't know too much about him. But thanks to the magic of the interwebs, I have stumbled upon three shining little gems that completely undo any modicum of reverence I might have once had for the former CEO of Godfather's Pizza.
Exhibit A: Herman Cain is a corporate douche-bag.
Proof: Who the fuck could so perversely rewrite John Lennon's Imagine to have the song be about pizza?
Exhibit B: Herman Cain likes to appear cultured by quoting poets that are actually songwriters for the Pokemon film series.
Proof: Watch Cain quoting Donna Summers in this clip from a GOP debate. Notice how he even fails to mention the name of the "poet" he is quoting, as if somehow not realizing that his potential supporters all have the power of Google at their fingertips.
Exhibit C: Herman Cain's 9-9-9 plan, much like his choice in literary quotes, is stolen from a child's video game.
Proof: From HuffingtonPost.com: SimCity Games Will Cost $9.99 In Honor Of Herman Cain's 999 Plan
That's right kids. Cain's vaunted 9-9-9 plan is taken straight from the realm of Sim City. Now, while Cain is adamantly denying that he has taken his tax plan from the microcosmic world of pixelated society, but that isn't stopping game producer Electronic Arts from offering a special discount on their popular title - now available for $9.99.
Again, Cain has publicly denounced any claims that he is taking political cues from a video game, but honestly - if you had been caught stealing ideas from a game, would you want to admit it? First, you disgrace one of the most touching songs about the freedom of the human spirit by making it a tool to sell pizza. Then you follow it up by bringing Pokemon - arguably one of the most nonsensical children's franchises in history - into the political arena under the guise of legitimate literature. And you follow it up by stealing the one piece of your campaign that has really been giving you momentum from a god damn video game, and don't even have the good grace to admit to your plagiarism.
Fuck You, Herman Cain.
Fuck You, and Goodnight.
To be honest, I didn't know much about Cain. In fact, I still don't know too much about him. But thanks to the magic of the interwebs, I have stumbled upon three shining little gems that completely undo any modicum of reverence I might have once had for the former CEO of Godfather's Pizza.
Exhibit A: Herman Cain is a corporate douche-bag.
Proof: Who the fuck could so perversely rewrite John Lennon's Imagine to have the song be about pizza?
Exhibit B: Herman Cain likes to appear cultured by quoting poets that are actually songwriters for the Pokemon film series.
Proof: Watch Cain quoting Donna Summers in this clip from a GOP debate. Notice how he even fails to mention the name of the "poet" he is quoting, as if somehow not realizing that his potential supporters all have the power of Google at their fingertips.
Exhibit C: Herman Cain's 9-9-9 plan, much like his choice in literary quotes, is stolen from a child's video game.
Proof: From HuffingtonPost.com: SimCity Games Will Cost $9.99 In Honor Of Herman Cain's 999 Plan
That's right kids. Cain's vaunted 9-9-9 plan is taken straight from the realm of Sim City. Now, while Cain is adamantly denying that he has taken his tax plan from the microcosmic world of pixelated society, but that isn't stopping game producer Electronic Arts from offering a special discount on their popular title - now available for $9.99.
Again, Cain has publicly denounced any claims that he is taking political cues from a video game, but honestly - if you had been caught stealing ideas from a game, would you want to admit it? First, you disgrace one of the most touching songs about the freedom of the human spirit by making it a tool to sell pizza. Then you follow it up by bringing Pokemon - arguably one of the most nonsensical children's franchises in history - into the political arena under the guise of legitimate literature. And you follow it up by stealing the one piece of your campaign that has really been giving you momentum from a god damn video game, and don't even have the good grace to admit to your plagiarism.
Fuck You, Herman Cain.
Fuck You, and Goodnight.
Monday, October 17, 2011
The Band was Playin' "Nearer My God To Thee"
Fare Thee Well, Strange Travelers, Fare Thee Well
This past weekend I opened a post with a weeping emoticon, to express my level of frustration, anger and sadness at the topic at hand. In that vein, to show a proper level of escalation regarding my outraged reaction to today's story, please see the first 20 seconds of the clip below.
From Care2.com: 14 Shamans Murdered in Peru
OK, before I let the headline sensationalize you too much, as the article explains, these 14 Shamans were murdered over the course of the last 20 months. I'll admit, when I first saw the headline it conjured visions of a grotesque mass murder like something out of a Rob Zombie movie. Yet after reading the article, I find myself no less incensed.
The Peruvian government has sent an official team to investigate the murders of 14 local medicine men, only 7 of whom have been recovered thus far. Those recovered were shown to have been victims of bullet wounds, or hacked and stabbed to death by machete.
As reported in The Peruvian Times, these men were planning on forming an association to share their knowledge with the world when they began to go missing. Allegedly, these crimes were committed by a local Protestant known as "the witch hunter", at the behest of his brother - the mayor of the local town of Balsa Puerto. According to local government experts on Amazonian culture, both men belong to a fringe sect of Protestantism that see men such as these shaman as being possessed by demons, and thus their religious responsibility to eliminate them. Apparently in as violent a fashion as possible.
As tragic as this senseless loss of life is, it is the loss of knowledge that is really staggering. The death of these men mark not only an unrecoverable loss of an intimate knowledge of the complex ecosystem of the rainforest, but "the crucial role shamans play in traditional medicine and spiritual guidance in indigenous communities", as the program director of Amazon Watch's Peru division was quoted in The Guardian.
And the world marches on. Over 500 years after the Spanish Conquistadors first arrived on the shores of the New World, leading the flame-wreathed cavalry of the Good Lord deep into the Heart of Darkness, and still, with all of our perceived infinite progression and evolution of moral integrity we find this endless repetition of the sins of our fathers. What knowledge were these men preparing to share that so rattled the cage of a man who carries the title of "witch-hunter" into the 21st Century?
And can someone please explain to me why this article makes no mention of anyone being apprehended for these atrocious crimes? It certainly appears they have enough information on those allegedly responsible to warrant taking them into custody, even despite the political shield being a mayor might provide.
In closing, a song. A song to carry those beautiful strange travelers home.
River take me. Sing me sweet and sleepy.
Sing me sweet and sleepy
All the way back home.
It's a fargone lullaby
Some many years ago
Mama, mama many worlds I've come
Since I've first left home.
This past weekend I opened a post with a weeping emoticon, to express my level of frustration, anger and sadness at the topic at hand. In that vein, to show a proper level of escalation regarding my outraged reaction to today's story, please see the first 20 seconds of the clip below.
Toilet Paper
Get More: SOUTH
PARKmore...
From Care2.com: 14 Shamans Murdered in Peru
OK, before I let the headline sensationalize you too much, as the article explains, these 14 Shamans were murdered over the course of the last 20 months. I'll admit, when I first saw the headline it conjured visions of a grotesque mass murder like something out of a Rob Zombie movie. Yet after reading the article, I find myself no less incensed.
The Peruvian government has sent an official team to investigate the murders of 14 local medicine men, only 7 of whom have been recovered thus far. Those recovered were shown to have been victims of bullet wounds, or hacked and stabbed to death by machete.
As reported in The Peruvian Times, these men were planning on forming an association to share their knowledge with the world when they began to go missing. Allegedly, these crimes were committed by a local Protestant known as "the witch hunter", at the behest of his brother - the mayor of the local town of Balsa Puerto. According to local government experts on Amazonian culture, both men belong to a fringe sect of Protestantism that see men such as these shaman as being possessed by demons, and thus their religious responsibility to eliminate them. Apparently in as violent a fashion as possible.
As tragic as this senseless loss of life is, it is the loss of knowledge that is really staggering. The death of these men mark not only an unrecoverable loss of an intimate knowledge of the complex ecosystem of the rainforest, but "the crucial role shamans play in traditional medicine and spiritual guidance in indigenous communities", as the program director of Amazon Watch's Peru division was quoted in The Guardian.
And the world marches on. Over 500 years after the Spanish Conquistadors first arrived on the shores of the New World, leading the flame-wreathed cavalry of the Good Lord deep into the Heart of Darkness, and still, with all of our perceived infinite progression and evolution of moral integrity we find this endless repetition of the sins of our fathers. What knowledge were these men preparing to share that so rattled the cage of a man who carries the title of "witch-hunter" into the 21st Century?
And can someone please explain to me why this article makes no mention of anyone being apprehended for these atrocious crimes? It certainly appears they have enough information on those allegedly responsible to warrant taking them into custody, even despite the political shield being a mayor might provide.
In closing, a song. A song to carry those beautiful strange travelers home.
River take me. Sing me sweet and sleepy.
Sing me sweet and sleepy
All the way back home.
It's a fargone lullaby
Some many years ago
Mama, mama many worlds I've come
Since I've first left home.
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