Sunday, July 31, 2011

It's Been a Long Time Since I Rock 'n' Rolled

Morning, Freaks.

As the title of this post implies, it's been awhile since I've left you with a simple post of just a little music, without me bombarding you with politics and subliminal cues for social revolution.

So here you go.

Normally, I don't go for this type of indie-rock hipster trash. I don't know what it is about this cut, maybe it's just the fact that I'm still trying to work out my boyhood man-crush on Little Pete from The Adventures of Pete & Pete. But I just can't stop hitting the replay button on this one. And if I have to suffer, then damnit, so do you.

Enjoy what's left of the weekend freaks. Much Love.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Your Own Private Bunker!!

Who remembers all those cute little back-yard bomb shelters you'd see in old TV shows dating from the Cold War? Well, apparently, these shelters are back on the market, and business is booming.

From CNN: Sales of Luxury Doomsday Bunkers Up 1,000%

God bless capitalism. Gotta make that dollah-dollah bill, y'all.

With increased fear in the light of the uprisings in the Middle East, combined with the geological activity that has so plagued Japan, the interest in securing a safe place for one's family in the wake of a natural or political disaster is soaring through the roof. Companies like Vivos and Hardened Structures are seeing sales skyrocket, for everything from personal and private apocalypse-proof shelters, to reservations in more community based bunkers.

One of Vivos' most ambitious structures is capable of housing up to nearly 1,000 people for a full year, as well as surviving a direct 450-megaton blast. The cost of a reservation in one of these units rings in at about $45,000 per person.

Call me cynical (probably won't be the first time if you've been reading this blog for awhile), but who the hell would want to survive in a situation like that? Is life that precious to you that you'd rather shell up supplies in hopes of surviving some disaster of Biblical proportions just so you can be among the few that blindly wander the wastelands left after the fall of society? Wouldn't it be a little more enjoyable to take that $45,000 price tag and drop it on a seriously heavy vacation? If you're so convinced that the end of days is indeed upon the horizon, wouldn't you rather squeeze as much pleasure out of those last days rather than ensure you survive the cataclysm only to suffer indefinitely in the chaos that would surely follow?

I'm sure most, if not all, of you will be familiar with this children's song:
Row, Row, Row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily,
Life is but a dream
It would seem to me that we have forgotten this pivotal truth of life that was so easily acceptable in youth. It's Just A Ride people. And like all rides, this one is sure to end one day, too. Enjoy it while you can.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Now You Know!!

And knowing is half the battle!!

From The Sydney Morning Herald: RAAF airman seriously burnt in toilet explosion

Sounds like a Jackass 3.0 bit.

So apparently a member of the Royal Australian Air Force suffered third degree burns to his face, arms, hands, and airways after he triggered an explosion by lighting a cigarette in a chemical toilet. Or a "portaloo", as they call it in Aussie-speak.

What the fuck kind of chemicals are they using in these porta-pottys? Speaking from personal experience, I have probably smoked at least a full pack of cigarettes over the years in various Porta-Johns over the years. Not only that, but drawing from my moe. run last week and the intense smell of pot that I smelled from people trying to avoid concert security by blazing a quick one in the toilets, the fact that they're claiming that lighting a cigarette somehow triggered this explosion is utterly baffling. I mean, if you're smoking a bowl in one of these things, that requires a lot more usage of an open flame than the one spark it takes to light up a cigarette. And the whole damn toilet exploded right in this guys face!

So, my fellow cancer-ridden tobacco enthusiasts, be wary the next time you decide to light one up while you're taking a load off and pinching a loaf. You might just trigger a reaction that could result in you carrying burn scars that would put Freddy Kruger to shame.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

God Hates Manatees

Yep. That's right. The cute, cuddly, cow faced basis for the myth of mermaids are under attack. And who could have enough hate in their hearts to turn the political sword against these gentle creatures? Who else but the bible-thumping Tea Party-ers!

In the Tampa, Florida area of Citrus County, Tea Party member Edna Mattos has taken up arms against the dastardly manatees, railing against wildlife preservation regulations that protect the endangered creatures.
We cannot elevate nature above people. That's against the Bible and the Bill of Rights.
Yes. Indeed. It is against the Bible and the Bill of Rights to shepherd the weak, and defend those that can not defend themselves. Nothing sounds more Christian and American to me. Get the powerboats, we're going manatee hunting.

The 63 year old Florida resident has picketed outside local court houses, and taken her battle to the web looking for support in lifting the federal regulations that protect these waters. Claiming that the wildlife protection is a federal conspiracy aiming to turn people into livestock and infringe upon their basic God-given American freedoms to do whatever the hell they damn well please, Mattos has received over 800 online signatures in support of her efforts.

Explaining the basis for her hypocrisy of wanting to remove the manatee protections and still enjoying taking her grandchildren to experience the creatures, Mattos says "If some of these environmental movements had been around in the days of the dinosaurs, we'd be living in Jurassic Park now."

Well, you just can't argue with that sound logic. Tossing in the towel. Sorry little seaweed-munching manatees. Jesus says we don't need your types around here anymore.

Sound the alarm. The manatees are coming.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Guns! The Bayonettes! The Gore and Death! THE CANNONBALLS!!!

I'm back, kids!

So, like I said a little over a week ago, I was running all over the northeast chasing moe. I missed a few posts, and I'm sorry for that, but some times you just have to damn the weather and answer the call.

Luckily for the rest of you, moe. isn't doing much until moe.down 12, so you don't have to worry about me taking another leave of absence until Labor Day weekend.

And with that, there is only one way to break back into this cycle here. And that's with a story about some Monkeys on Ecstasy.

From People's Daily Online: Monkeys Trained as Battlefield Killers in Afghanistan

OK, they're not really on ecstasy, but they're still fascinating little primates.

In what is being seen as an effort to combat the American tactic of using unmanned drone strikes against their enemies, Taliban forces have reportedly been training monkeys in the lethal arts of warfare. Armed with AK-47s and Bren light machine guns, these monkey soldiers have been spotting patrolling the Pakistan-Afghanistan border.

According to the article however, this is not the first time monkeys have been trained for combat. Apparently the CIA were the first to try and train primates for war, to be used in Vietnam in the 60s and 70s. The article neglects to mention how successful these attempts may or may not have been, and I'm guessing the success rates weren't too hot, seeing as this is the first I'm hearing of armed chimps being used in war.

You have to wonder what effect instructing these animals in the use of weapons might have on the course of their natural evolution. Is it possible that we might inadvertently be pressing the fast forward button on these little critters? Perhaps the Rise of the Planet of the Apes is indeed upon us.

Enjoy what's left of your weekend boys and girls. I'll be back tomorrow, same Monkey time, same Monkey channel.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Baby, I Need A Miracle

An 80s power-rock ballad immediately makes anything sexy and awesome.


Enjoy the day freaks.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Big Brother is Watching You

Depending on where you live these days, odds are you're becoming painfully aware of the growing popularity of traffic cameras being used to mark traffic violators and sending out tickets in the mail. I've gotten a handful of them myself. This is where the normal debate begins between the "Don't Tread on Me" crowd and the "Why are you worried if you have nothing to hide?" camp.

Well, for those of you who don't get that squeamish feeling at the thought of state run cameras at every intersection, check this out.

From Vehicle Registration Plate Surveillance System

The article does a good job of providing a cursory overview of the procedures being used in the UK for tracking the locations of vehicles as they traverse the countryside, using a combination of pictures of vehicle plates and the passengers of the vehicles to create a data farm on driving patterns in the area. While the state staunchly denies allegations that this data mining will be used to build profiles on law-abiding citizens, they do not deny holding on to these data sets.

And so continues the inexorable march to the bleak future of complete lack of personal privacy. I remember hearing someone talk about the future once, saying that while we all clamor now for our 5 minutes of fame, it won't be very long until we're scrambling for 5 simple minutes of peace and privacy in our entire lives. Really gives you hope for tomorrow, huh?

Thank God we got Joey Diaz out there speaking truth for all us sinners.

Much love.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Where's my Batman costume?

Remember kids, when engaging in auto-erotic asphyxiation, always use a spotter!

From NBC: Man Who Owned Killer Bear Chokes to Death on Sex Toy

His mother must be so proud.

So apparently, a man who was in the news not too long ago when one of his "trained" bears snapped and mauled a man to death is whipping up headlines again, this time of a much more comical nature. Sam Mazzola, age 49, was found dead in his home outside of Cleveland, Ohio. Arms and legs chained to his waterbed. With a sex toy blocking his airways.

The best quote of the article is the sheriff's department's comment to the press. Apparently, somehow the authorities have ruled that the death was neither a suicide, nor a homicide. And just kinda leave it at that. How does a man die from asphyxiation with a god damn fuck toy in his throat, chained to the bed, without it being either a homicide or a suicide? Unfortunately, the article largely spares you all the gory details you really want to read, because it's from NBC, and there are children out there who simply can not handle the gruesome specifics of how a man might be killed by a fuck toy in his own home.

Enjoy the day, freaks! Much love.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Hi! I'm Big Bob!!

From Alternet: CIA funds secret prison in Somalia

Yay! Nothing spells waking up on the right side of the bed like reading about new secret prison facilities being operated over our borders by American intelligence agencies.

While officially staffed by members of the Somali NSA, and guarded by Somali military units, the paychecks are all signed by the CIA, and American agencies control access to the site. Ostensibly established to combat a militant Muslim extremist group, and serve as a headquarters for counter-terrorism missions in the area, as well as a detainment center for those apprehended.

And so continues the ever expanding American military spirit of colonization. Let me ask you something objectively. How do you think our country would respond if some wealthy nation decided to set up shop and start running clandestine military operations out of our back yard? Why, I imagine we'd be pretty pissed. Pissed enough to start a revolution, perhaps. And probably establish early on after said revolution that our citizens would be free from the burden of quartering military personnel. Hmm...

Oh well. At least we know those poor Somali pirates won't go hungry.

Cock meat sandwiches for all!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

It's Electric!!

Morning Freaks! Who's in the mood for a little steak and eggs this morning?

From AFP: Fears Mount in Japan over Radioactive Beef

These poor bastards just can't catch a break, can they? According to the story, apparently a farm outside of the quarantined "no-go zone" is responsible for unwittingly feeding his livestock contaminated straw, resulting in radioactive beef that slipped past the national inspection parties and into the grocery stores. Yum!

The contaminated beef has popped up in stores and eateries in 12 prefectures across the country, boasting radioactive levels six times over the established legal limit. Despite these elevated levels, government officials are assuring the public there is no cause for alarm.

Fuck that noise. No cause for alarm, my ass. I think it's time we realize that we just need to abandon the island. Get the citizens the hell out of there and just relocate. Sure, it would be a tragic loss of the trappings of one of the oldest cultures in the world, but there comes a time when people need to consider their hope for the future against their lust for the past.

And just maybe that's what would have actually happened had the various news reporting agencies actually been honest in their coverage of the depth of damage caused by this natural disaster and subsequent meltdowns. It seems every time I hear about the state of Japan, it's to say how the radiation levels keep rising higher and higher than what they originally stated was possible, while the radius of the cut off "no-go zone" steadily creeps ever outward.

Unfortunately, it would also mean sacrificing all those lovely Japanese Love Hotels I brought up a few days back. But we can rebuild! Better, Faster, Stronger!

But I guess it doesn't matter, anyway.

Post Script:
On a personal note, going to be running around chasing Five Guys Named moe. for the next couple of days. I'm going to do my damnedest to keep bringing you these ramblings, and that's a promise. I just might have to take a momentary relapse in building my Cal Ripkin-esque reputation of daily posts.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Handshake Drugs

God Damn. God Damn. God Damn the Pusher Man.

You know I've smoked a lot of grass
O' Lord, I've popped a lot of pills
But I never touched nothin'
That my spirit could kill
You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round
With tombstones in their eyes
But the pusher don't care
Ah, if you live or if you die

From Al-Jazeera: Outsourced: Clinical trials overseas

Ever wonder what kind of path those fancy prescriptions that you picked up at CVS or Walgreens last week might have taken to get from the chalkboard to the pill bottle? Well, Al-Jazeera's program Faultlines provides a pretty interesting look into the realm of third world clinical studies.

Most college students in this country are at least passingly familiar with the concept of medical studies. It's a great way to grab a few extra bucks without tying yourself down to a part time job that can eat away at your precious extra study time. But here in the states most of the trials that you can sign yourself up for are psychological. Basic studies into how the brain works, usually involving more flash cards and stop watches than pills and injections. But of course, those pills you're taking had to have been researched and tested before they were sold to the American consumer. And in the last 20 years, a great deal of those clinical trials have gone over seas.

Feeding off a social class marked by extreme poverty and illiteracy, CROs, or Clinical Research Organizations, are increasingly finding it much easier to take shortcuts around the regulations of oversight committees by having these trials take place in areas where it is preferable to receive this skewed form of medical treatment that involves new and experimental drugs rather than receive no treatment at all. And the ethical practices of these organizations are beyond questionable.

The program provides interviews with several locals who have undergone these clinical tests. One particularly jarring example tells of several families from an agricultural area whose daughters were enrolled in a boarding school several hours away. These young girls were enlisted in the studies for a cervical cancer drug without the knowledge of their parents, with their consent forms signed by the headmaster of their school. Five young girls died in the course of the testing, and the hospitals involved have refused to release their findings, both from the course of the study and the children's post-mortem reports, not only to the reporters from Al-Jazeera, but to the girls' families, as well.

Many of the subjects in these trials are unaware they are taking part in the studies. Several participants recount being handed paperwork in English, despite the fact that they are illiterate in their native tongue, let alone a foreign one. While one document shown clearly lists a "Study Drug" in its text bearing the consenting signature of the participant, the man asserts that at no point was he made aware in his native tongue the possible repercussions of being involved in such a study.

Sure makes ya feel good, huh?

But of course, we all know what the real danger is in the world of chemically altering your metabolism. It's that god damned wacky marijuana! Scourge of the masses, indeed. Call me crazy, but I prefer my drugs to come from a man who can look me in the eye with a smile, rather than a clipboard and a corporate check book.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

These Colors Don't Run!!

And apparently, they don't fucking leave, either.

From Al-Jazeera: Why the US won't leave Afghanistan

Let the head-spinning, pea-soup launching extravaganza begin! Aah, it's times like this that I really cherish the comfort garnered from those silly Obama "Change" campaign posters.

If you do a Google search right now for the phrase "Obama promises to leave Afghanistan", you will be greeted by an entire page of articles, mostly dating from June 23rd to the 25th of this year, praising the President for the work he and his administration have done to scourge the earth of the likes of Al-Qaeda, and celebrating that over 30,000 troops had been slated to return home over the next year, with 10,000 of those due home by the end of this year.

Fast forward just under a month. Now we have Defense Secretary Gates asserting, with the support of the Pentagon, that it is far too premature to begin retracting the Afghanistan troop surge, and recommends a start date for pulling out the troops be place at the end of next year. Of course, all of this talk about bringing home the troops obfuscates the fact that even were this withdrawal to occur, it would still place the total number of troops stationed in the country at a level above what it was before Obama took office.

I mean sure, hell, why not? We can afford it. How much could a party out in the desert for a few thousand soldiers really be costing our depleted coffers, anyway?

A recent, detailed study by the Eisenhower Research Project at Brown University revealed that the war on terror has cost the US economy, so far, from $3.7 trillion (the most conservative estimate) to $4.4 trillion (the moderate estimate). Then there are interest payments on these costs - another $1 trillion.

That makes the total cost of the war on terror to be...a staggering $5.4 trillion. And that does not include, as the report mentions, "additional macroeconomic consequences of war spending", or a promised (and undelivered) $5.3 billion reconstruction aid for Afghanistan.

Well, fuck it. We need to keep this war going for the safety of America, right? There are hordes of terrorists in those mountain caves who would like nothing more than to rape your daughter and piss on the flag out of their seething hatred for American freedom. They must be stopped! No Quarter! Right?

Unless of course you believe a statement from the CIA that was quoted in the London Financial Times three weeks ago as establishing the number of "Al-Qaeda types" currently in Afghanistan somewhere in the neighborhood of 50-75 militants. God damnit, that's less than a third of my graduating high school class, even if you lean it on the heavy side. We're talking 10 BILLION dollars a month for a group that could fit on a single Fung Wah bus from Boston to Manhattan. But those things have a tendency to explode even without religious extremists on board, so maybe that wasn't the best illustration.

Pretty spot on for a man talking two decades ago about a different war...

Enjoy your day, folks.

Monday, July 11, 2011

I've found my calling.

Normally this is where I would say something like "Only in America..."

But this isn't in America. It's in Japan. At least until I can procure a sizable enough bank loan to open up shop myself here in the good ol' U S of A.

From Japanese Love Hotels

Oh Boy! With Holland tightening the restrictions on the sale of legal weed to foreigners, I know where I'm going for my next trans-oceanic vacation!

How have I not heard of this? Apparently the popularity of Japanese Love Hotels is so prevalent that the nation boasts somewhere between 30,000 to 40,000 units, and so entrenched in their culture that the Japanese just take them for granted, forgetting that they're not a world-wide craze.

My only problem is some of those rooms are damn creepy. Check the one about halfway down the page (4th from the bottom) with the Hello Kitty doll tied up in a glass case with a blind fold on. I mean, I'm all for a little healthy S&M between consenting adults, but something tells me that doll was not designed for such escapades. And don't even get me started on the second image from the top. Could someone please, for the love of god, explain to me the Japanese fascination with cartoon titties? I mean Sweet Christ, someone actually spent the time and effort to make those damned drawings. Doesn't exactly fire up my cockles, personally.

But hell, just because there are a few bad apples in there doesn't mean the whole idea needs to be scrapped. I see a lot of potential in some of those rooms, and I'm just the kinda guy who would be a perfect caretaker of such an establishment.

Hi Lloyd! Little slow tonight, isn't it? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

As Above, So Below

Morning, freaks. Or early afternoon, however you want to play it. Dick

Don't really have too much for you today in the vein of tangible, valuable content. No energy for such lofty undertakings today. Rather, today I ask that we click the gears to wax philosophical. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Check out these images from

The top image on the page, a map of the neurons of a standard lab mouse.

The bottom image, a computer simulation of the approximate image of the universe as it undergoes rapid expansion from its epicenter.

Pretty crazy, huh?

Hope you enjoy this last afternoon before the work week begins again. Spark up an offering to the gods of pointless pondering and let this one stew on the back burner for awhile. Really helps to appreciate how this great big mystery might really be playing out.

Who knows, maybe with the scrapping of the NASA shuttle program I talked about a few days back, we can start realizing the corollary importance of exploring the psychic plane hand in hand with the astral plane. Psychonauts, your species needs you.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Phreaking out, man!

From Al-Jazeera: Murdoch goes to UK amid scandal

Amidst strides to freshly acquire the British satellite broadcast company BSkyB, the CEO of NewsCorp is refusing to comment in the whipping scandal surrounding his recently dismantled News of the World Sunday tabloid.

An interesting enough story already for those of us who support a free and open media, and thus oppose every delayed death rattle that lingers in this skeleton's voice box. There was already scandal enough surrounding the possible NewsCorp acquisition as an affront to the objectivity of news media. But now that News of the World is being charged with phone hacking (or phreaking for the internet savvy, get the title now?) and interfering with criminal investigations in the name of electrifying the news. Employees of Murdoch have been accused of phone hacking into the voicemail accounts of everyone from aides to the royal family to missing persons, and The Guardian is even reporting evidence of hacking in to private e-mail accounts and tampering with and deleting messages. While Murdoch has yet to issue an official personal statement, the stringent denials of NewsCorp and his decision to shut down the tabloid should speak for itself.

Imagine! A news organization stooping to unscrupulous methods of obtaining information, all in the vein of sensationalizing a story and increasing readership! It's unthinkable! A veritable tragedy! Who could imagine a news company with such a blatant lack of integrity! Thank our lucky stars that such a travesty couldn't possibly be occurring here in the States, where Murdoch has an even tighter death grip on the media circus...

A lawyer representing the family of a young girl who's disappearance led to one of the instances of phone hacking that has brought this whirlwind around Murdoch's head perhaps put it best:
It’s not about that [retribution], it’s about the truth. And that’s what the News of the World and other newspapers were meant to be – beacons of truth.

"They were meant to the fourth estate, holding as a check to the third estate. This is a watershed moment for the press … that they have entered into the corruption that they were seeking to expose of others.

Of course, none of this would be going on if they weren't turning a profit on it. Who should you really be upset at, here?

Friday, July 8, 2011

"This is Major Tom to Ground Control"

Happy Friday Freaks

From CNN: Space shuttle Atlantis lifts off

So, this morning the space shuttle Atlantis embarked on its 12-day mission to the International Space Station, marking the official end of NASA's space shuttle program. Being the supporter than I am of exploration and the search for knowledge, a part of me is deeply saddened that the space shuttle program is getting the axe after its 30 year tenure of throwing apes into the cosmos, but the greater part of me believes that this is an excellent opportunity to learn from the mistakes of the shuttle program, and pave the way for starting on a clean slate in the future.

Now, granted, rocket science is just a weekend hobby of mine, but I have always had a few problems with the space shuttle program. For those of you not familiar with the design, check out this page here and scroll down to the diagram at the bottom of the page. Gives you a pretty basic idea of what these rockets look like before they take off. Essentially they are comprised of three main pieces, the reusable Orbital Vehicle, the two reusable rocket boosters, and the expendable external tank. The space shuttle program, and the NASA programs before it, have results in so much "space debris", or man-made waste floating around in Earth's orbit, that the unfaltering continuance of these methods would have eventually resulted in effectively creating an impassable shield of trash around the planet. Remember, even something as small as a screw or bolt whipping around the planet's orbit can cause some serious damage at those velocities. While NASA has done a lot of work to mitigate the damage cause by these micrometeorites, it is still a serious problem.

Of course, while NASA is no longer continuing with the space shuttle program, Russia and China are still at the grinding wheel, so this does not mean the end to mankind in space. And if we have learned nothing else from the success of the space program, it is that that success, while impressive, still falls woefully short of truly being able to explore the vast reaches of our galaxy. The top velocity of the space shuttle while in orbit is 17,500 miles per hour. At this continued rate of travel, it would take approximately 23 years to reach just the limits of our own solar system. Of course, you can start getting into the possibility of attaching solar sails to increase the speed of your vehicle, but that just complicates things beyond my comprehension. Like I said, this is just a passive hobby of mine.

So maybe with NASA free to look into alternate methods of propulsion, and more efficient ways to travel in space, breaching beyond the boundaries of our own solar system could one day become more of an approachable task. I mean, as cool as going to the moon is, even now in 2011 we are a far sight from realizing Kubrick's fantasy for the year 2001.

This is for those of you out there that are fans of Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of Oz mashup. The song Echoes laid out over the final part of 2001 by Stanley Kubrick. It's not perfect, but hell, what is in this crazy world of ours?

Enjoy the weekend.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus!

Alright boys and girls. Do I have a treat for you.

Thanks to the wonders of social media, I stumbled upon what has to be the most jaw-dropping websites I have ever seen. OnKneesForJesus.

Not going to lie, it took me a minute to figure out that the goal of the website, and their related YouTube Channel OnKneesForJesus3, was satire. But unlike the side-splittingly funny, which provides an Onion-esque flavor of over-the-top hyperbolic fiction, the videos shown at OnKneesForJesus are frighteningly serious. At least by those that made them.

I haven't the time, nor inclination, to sit and sift through all 225 uploads available on the OnKneesForJesus YouTube Channel, so I'm just going to share with you the video that first lead me to this comedic gold-mine.

Here we have a 10 minute clip from the program It's Supernatural where Bill Weise and his wife discuss Bill's "Vision from God", where he claims to have been shown the physical space of Hell so that he could return and warn the unfaithful masses that the parlor of Beelzebub is as real as the day is long.

I know what you're saying. Yeah, we've heard it all before, this is boring. Well, if Bill's shocking account of the Lake of Fire isn't enough to keep you riveted to your seat, do me a favor and fast forward to the 5:40 mark in this video. That's when It's Supernatural! really jumps the shark in my mind.

As the program moves in to a quick commercial break, you are presented with a 65 second infomercial providing you with all the details on why you should purchase Bill's entire three book, one DVD "Course" entitled What Ever Happened to Hell?, for the low, low price of $30 (Shipping and Handling included!). Oh, I'm sorry, did I say price? I meant Donation. Silly me. The really frightening piece to me is if you look at the Order Number you're supposed to provide when you call up and order your copy. 9086. All I'm going to say, is God help us if there really are over 9,000 similar courses that are spreading this kind of crap around.

Another interesting point of the interview is Bill's seemingly random interruption at around the 5:00 mark. As you follow his recitation of the horrors and nightmares of Hell, Bill relates that he saw a bright light, and was saved from torment and confronted with the image of Jesus Christ himself. And then just randomly interjects, "You know, I was really successful. My real-estate company was pulling in over half a million dollars a year for 30 years!" What the FUCK does that have to do with anything?? And even better, if you're pulling in that kind of green annually, why the $30 price tag if you really and truly believe that the masses need to be saved? Any why the semantics of calling it a donation instead of just being honest?

I may be Born-Again, but I wasn't Born-Again yesterday!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Turn On. Tune In. Drop Out.

Once again, a quick thank you to BK for throwing this article my way. Don't know what I'd do without ya, buddy.

From The Economist: Research into hallucinogenic drugs begins to shake off decades of taboo

Apparently, according to this article, the New York Public Library has recently purchased the archives of the famous LSD researcher and enthusiast, Timothy Leary. One thing this article fails to illuminate though, is where the documents were purchased from. As the article states, these documents will provide interesting data pertaining to the divide between the original promise seen in the effects of the psychedelic, and its eventual blacklisting. But again, there is no mention of where these documents have been hiding for the last few decades, how much was paid for them, and why they haven't been made available to the public until now.

Psychedelic clinical studies have been undergoing a recent resurgence in popularity. There are researchers who are currently looking into the chemicals for their medical effects on conditions like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, severe anxiety, and cluster headaches, with promising early results across the board. The release of the Leary documents to the public may help to bolster this growing popularity.

The article goes on to explain that it is far too early to know whether or not there are any true legitimate medicinal properties to these drugs. But why do we need clinical properties? Why are we so afraid to simply make something legal because it is enjoyable? The Christian influence on this country, pushing its tenements of guilt and denial of self-indulgence, has had a choke hold on the machinations of the American cultural ideology for far too long. In the words of Terence McKenna, "If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness' don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on."

"The statistics show that taking LSD is no more dangerous than signing up for a 4-year course at college. A certain percentage of people who do either are going to get into trouble"

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Thought I felt a little sore after that last trip to my Korean Urologist...

Morning freaks! Boy, do I have an awesome story for YOU!

From the LA Times: Korean Surgeons develop new method for determining approximate penis length

First, to every woman who has ever told me "Size doesn't matter", fuck you. Obviously if the Koreans are spending this much time and effort on the matter, it's pretty important.

So, apparently, these surgeons took a pool of 144 male subjects over the age of 20 who were undergoing a urological procedure. Once in the hospital and properly anesthetized, the doctors carefully measured the lengths of the subject's index and ring fingers. Then, a careful measurement of their sexual organs, a flaccid measurement, and one taken while "stretching" their member. It was believed that this incredibly scientific "stretching" process would accurately predict the erect length of the subject without requiring them to become aroused. At the end of the experiment the Korean team concluded that the lower the ratio of length between the index and ring fingers, the longer the erect length of the penis of the subject.

You should really give the article a quick perusal, as it provides a litany of other wonky little relationships between finger length and sexual characteristics, including the fact that apparently lesbians commonly have a more "manly digit-ratio", despite the fact that gays do not show a more "feminine ratio". But beyond all of these giggle-inspiring snippets, there is one piece to this article that I find a little bit alarming. At no point do they mention the fact that the subjects of the study were aware that they were being yanked and measured while under the effects of anesthesia. Now, I'll admit that I don't know to much about the medical practices of South Korea, but something tells me that there were droves of Korean surgeons running around urology clinics and unceremoniously stretching patients' penises with a ruler in one hand and a clipboard in the other.

"The Doctor will see you now!"

Monday, July 4, 2011


Happy 4th of July, freaks.

Years ago, I had to do a report on the novel Catch-22 by Joseph Heller for a high school english class. Like any warm-blooded American student is want to do, I put the report off to the last possible minute. The night before it was due, I forced myself to speed-read through the material, and with scant hours left before I had to hand in the paper that morning, I floundered to make sense of what I had just read. I had enjoyed the read, but even minutes after finishing the piece I was at a complete loss for what the point of the book was. In fact, my feeling of confusion was so profound, that I had decided that that feeling of confusion itself was the theme of the book. I felt that the novel was purposefully bewildering in an attempt to give the reader a sense of the confusion felt by soldiers during wartime. To this day I'm not really sure if I was right in my assessment, I got a decent grade and moved on with my life.

The reason I am relating this tale is because of a story from the BBC, which has for the first time since racing through Heller's text filled me with that same level of bewildered confusion. And the headline reads: Why London is getting a statue of Ronald Reagan. Yep, this should be good.

Ironic that Great Britain would choose to unveil a statue of an American leader so close to the anniversary of the United States' Declaration of Independence from the monarchy. Reagan won't be the first foreigner to have a statue erected in his honor on the soil of the British Empire. The likeness of Karl Marx presides in the Highgate Cemetery, funded by the British Communist Party in 1954. And Dwight Eisenhower, dressed in his military fatigue rather than the threads of his political office, stands in the same square that he used for his office in preparation for the D-Day assault of World War II, faces the new statue of Reagan. Which, by the way, costs roughly 1 million dollars, paid for out of the coffers of the Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation, an organization devoted to ensuring Reagan's legacy remains untarnished by the sands of time.

London is not the only city receiving a facelift from the Reagan Presidential Foundation. Krakow, Budapest, and Prague have also seen recent unveilings to mark the centenary of Reagan's birth.

Now, there are a few quick points that have caused me to arch an eyebrow in confusion. I'm not even going to get in to why the Reagan President Foundation finds it necessary to advertise their beliefs in the form of million-dollar statues on foreign land. Or why Great Britain would choose to unveil their statue on the anniversary of one of the most historically important revolutions. But why did the Westminster City Council allow for the statue to be erected before the usual restriction of ten years after the subject's death? And even more interesting, there are already plans on the books for the American Embassy to move locations in the year 2017. So while today the statue is a short stone's throw from the embassy's door, in 2017 it will be in an entire different part of the city. So, why rush the established process when you know that the physical political landscape is going to change in less than a decade? Wouldn't it seem prudent to at least wait until the US Embassy moves into it's new location and erect the new statue there?

Of course, the political insensitivity of the move has me completely baffled. In this day in age when political activists are screaming from the rooftops and railing against the political machine which so deftly ignores the cries of its underprivileged citizens, isn't it at least a touch arrogant to erect a statue of a man who's only goal beyond the dissolution of the Soviet Union was an eradication of the welfare state and workers unions?

Well, that's enough out of me today. It's the 4th of July. And I pray that you're not so jaded as I am that you're reading this page on this day of national celebration. Go out and grill up some animal parts. And celebrate your chance at the American Dream by taking your own small piece of the pie and lighting it up to kingdom come with at least a metric ton of explosives. It's the American Way.


Sunday, July 3, 2011

"I'm not brave anymore darling. I'm broken. They've broken me."

-A Farewell to Arms
--Ernest Hemingway

Did FBI surveillance push Ernest Hemingway to the brink of suicide?

G'day, freaks.

So here's an interesting story for the 4th of July weekend. Just a little something to share over a beer and a hot dog at the big barbecue.

It's just interesting to know that not everyone who is screaming about being tailed by the men in black is making it up. Some of them really are being followed. And it very well could have been the stress of that pursuit that lead this literary giant to shuffle off this mortal coil before his time.


Saturday, July 2, 2011

Ding Dong the Witch is Dead!!

This is better than Saturday morning cartoons.

To commemorate the departure of Glenn Beck, Media Matters put together this awesome collection of the crazed ramblings of FOX's former right hand man in fear-mongery and disinformation.

And it's hilarious.

Enjoy the day, freaks. I can't think of a better reason to celebrate this 4th of July weekend than knowing this charlatan will no longer be muddying the airwaves.


Friday, July 1, 2011

This Little Light O' Mine

G'day you animals!

Got a short one for you today. Check out this posting from Al-Jazeera:

Evangelical Christianity is experiencing phenomenal growth in China, but is it on a collision course with the state?

So, it would appear that the good missionaries are getting some work done. While many religions have been increasing in numbers, such as Islam, the growth of Evangelical Christianity is reportedly through the roof. This is especially interesting when held against the recent report from the BBC discussing how religion appears to be going extinct in nine first-world, western nations (for that report - click here). In China however, one church alone is reporting an increase to over 8,000 members, a 400% increase since the church was started in 2005 with just 2,000 members.

What's interesting is that while the growth of the legitimate and state sanctioned churches is staggering, there is no way to gauge the growth of the increasingly popular unsanctioned churches. Refusing to submit their faith to the involvement of the communist government, these underground churches also seem to be bursting at the seams.

If you have time to check out the full video on the link there, it is pretty interesting. Especially the parts where the journalists show how they are trailed by Chinese secret police while they attempt to make contact with one of these underground house churches. And don't let the name "house church" deceive you, one of these house churches boasts over 4,000 members.

When describing the tenuous peace between the government and his unsanctioned church, one of the preachers explains that every time his parish faces the oppression of the state, they are in turn faced with a rush of new membership. In light of this, he claims, the government has begun to leave him alone. But this is not true for all underground churches. The video also shows footage of riot police preemptively taping off an area planned for a public unsanctioned church event where they arrested parishioners as they arrived. While most of the assembly was released after a short stay in a make-shift detention camp, ten of the churches leaders remain on house arrest.

The point the preacher made about oppression leading to an influx of membership is especially interesting in contrast to the BBC report I linked about religion starting to go extinct in nations like Ireland, Australia, and Canada. In the Czech Republic they report 60% of the population being non-affiliated with a religious group.

Just a little food for thought as we get into the holiday weekend here. Enjoy your democracy. Celebrate your liberty.

Just make sure you have it first.