Thursday, June 30, 2011

Think For Yourself

Morning, Psychonauts!

And what a glorious morning it is. Today, with this post, I mark the first full month that I was able to bring you a post every day without having to apologize for flaking out and missing one on you. That's right. If you look on the sidebar there for June, you will see the number 30 parenthetically referenced next to the month, proving my accomplishment. And I'm damn proud.

By this point you're probably asking, what does he have in store for us today for such an important milestone? Well, friends, I was sitting at my keyboard floundering for a proper story to tell. First, I came upon this giggle-inspiring blurb from entitled "Best Headline Ever", telling of how NBC Nightline's To Catch A Predator host had been caught in a hidden camera operation having an affair with a woman 20 years his junior. I started the bit, but it just wasn't flowing right, so it got axed.

Then, I started surfing, my usual go-to website for interesting and relevant news to poke fun at. Again, I quickly stumbled upon a pair of promising candidates. The first, a news story from the Hindustan Times describing the growing trend of Indian parents forcing their children to undergo a transsexual surgical procedure, changing them from girls to boys to cater to the national fetish of having a son. Or, for something a little lighter, I could have chosen the story from Ohio in which a woman was arrested after spraying police with her breast milk in an unruly fashion. Again, certainly a proper piece of subject matter for this pit of general filth, but something just didn't feel right as I started to flesh out the post. So once again it was scrapped and deleted.

I worriedly turned to an associate of mine, moaning that I was concerned I wouldn't be able to provide a quality piece on today's important post. I was stuck, and the last thing I wanted to do was throw up another cop-out post of a song and say "Have a good day". That simply just would not have done at all.

And then, FLASH! Inspiration!

Where the hell did the term "cop-out" come from, anyway? We use the term today to describe an avoidance of a responsibility, or a general lack of effort in a task. But had it always been this way? When did the word "cop" become synonymous with unscrupulous behavior? And for the answer, I went to, a British site devoted to etymology.

And here is what I found.

A fully American invention, according to the source, "cop-out" originated at the turn of the 20th Century, originally meaning to steal or take for one's self. The site provides a quote from The Fortune Hunter by Louis Joseph Vance (1910):
He simply can’t lose, can’t fail to cop out the best-looking girl with the biggest bank-roll in town.
It wasn't until the 1930s that "cop-out" began to take on the meaning which is associated with the police, when it evolved into a slang term which meant to plea-bargain or confess to the police. It was with this connotational evolution that "cop-out" began to be used to describe an individual giving up on the criminal life-style, apparently beginning in the 1950s.

By the 1960s, "cop-out" had effectively completed its metamorphosis to the phrase we know and love today, meaning "an excuse, a pretext, a going back on your responsibilities to avoid trouble, a cowardly or feeble evasion."

And with that, time to put the beast out to pasture. I'm done with this post, and I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. And never let it be said that I "copped-out" on you for this important milestone.

Enjoy the day, freaks and freak-ettes. Love ya

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Prayers were ah struck by ah rightring!!

Translation: Players were struck by lightning!

Yes, I'm horribly offensive and politically incorrect. Still rubbing sleep out of my eyes, leave me alone.

From Yahoo!: North Korea blame loss to U.S. on players getting struck by lightning

All praise and glory to the Dear Leader, and through him the rapturous talents of the North Korean Women's soccer (sorry, football) team! Though they faced disgrace, and likely execution, after their loss to the American Women's soccer team, at least they know they performed to the best of their ability in the face of the open scorn of mother nature.

In a press statement released to the BBC, Korean coach Kwang Min Kim claimed that the reason for his team's loss was not the superior abilities of the American team, but rather that several of his players, including the goal tender, had been struck by lightning during a practice. The team physicians had ruled that the players were medically unfit to take the field, but the fervor and glory of the World Cup is such that they disregarded the warnings of their doctors to take on the Western heathens on the field.

Fortunately for the North Koreans, this loss has absolutely no effect on the Dear Leader's dreams of world domination.

He's a very, very busy boy.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

"They're not seeing Pink Elephants, folks!"

This video really just speaks for itself. So I'm going to let it do just that.

The only comment I'm going to make here is that a red flag should have been thrown up for all of you at Jones' repeated assertions that he never has, nor ever will try the substance he is talking about so vociferously. Educate yourselves people, take nothing on face value.

Enjoy the day.

Monday, June 27, 2011

This Aggresion Will NOT Stand, Man!

Or maybe it will. Something tells me that if we as a nation don't stand up in outrage at this one, nothing is going to stop the TSA.

From CNN: TSA stands by officers after pat-down of elderly woman in Florida

The TSA has gone just a little too far, this time. The article above tells the story of a recent encounter between the TSA and an elderly woman at the Northwestern Florida Regional Airport just over a week ago. The 95 year old woman, frail and bound to a wheel chair, was on her way to Michigan to live with family for a short period of time before she was placed in an assisted living complex to live out what was left of her life with as much dignity as she had remaining.

And that dignity was cast to the wind when she was forced by TSA officials to remove her adult diaper as part of her security screening.

The woman was forced to undergo the now well known TSA procedure of a "thorough" pat-down. During the pat-down TSA workers discovered that her adult-sized Depends was "wet and firm", and that the diaper needed to be removed in order to ensure the safety of all the other passengers.

What. The. Fuck.

Now, in all honesty, I realize that the economy is in dire straits at the moment, and that finding good work is hard to come by. But at what point in your career with the TSA do you wake up on morning and finally say "enough is enough"? I mean fuck, the day I show up to work as a glorified mall cop and have to start digging through adult diapers, I'm fucking quitting. Your paycheck isn't worth that much, no matter what number you're writing on it.

But as ridiculous as the crux of this story is, it's the details that drive me wild. Like the fact that the woman's daughter was forced to undergo a physical pat-down because she started crying in the security line as she witnessed the disgraceful treatment of her mother. Or the quick aside mentioning how a 6 year-old was forced to go through the same pat-down last April because she had moved while in the full-body scanner, invalidating her scan and forcing a more "intimate" investigation.

All I'm saying is, thank god I'm fucking broke. Because if I was of a station in life that required me to be subjected to these modern day bridge-trolls on even a quasi-regular basis, suffice to say I'd likely be arrested for casting obscenity into the wind every time I crossed a check point.

And all this is going on while these two maniacs are free to run around the airport terminal without being approached once by security. Obviously a 95 year old leukemia patient is much more of a threat.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Time to get the fuck out of Kansas, Toto

The hill people have risen up. And apparently, not only do the hills have eyes, but they also have valid voter registration cards.

From Mother Jones: Kansas: The First Abortion-Free State?

And the Merry Dance continues.

So, according to this article, the staunchly pro-life state government of Kansas has enacted a series of new regulations which will effectively force the closing of the three remaining abortion clinics in the state. These new regulations, which were put into place June 17th of this year, not only give regulatory commissions more power in fining and shutting down these establishments, but also require that all clinics comply with the new standards by July 1st of this year, effectively giving them 10 business days to change their operations.

What kind of regulatory changes, you ask? Well, for example, all three clinics would be required to expand just about every room in their facility, from waiting rooms to recovery rooms, even including the janitor's closet. They're also being required to add brand new restrooms facilities. And in case the dramatic physical facelift isn't enough for you, all facilities are now required to obtain a new state certification, a process which can take 3 to 4 months. Making it completely impossible for these clinics to comply by the deadline imposed by the state.

Coming down on the clinics isn't the only way Kansas is trying to oust abortions, though. They're also attacking those who would be receiving them, restricting regulations on eligible abortions, and tightening private insurance coverage for the procedure.

While there is likely to be a long, drawn out court debate in the coming months, anti-abortion groups like Operation Rescue are already claiming victory in the fight.

Oh well, fuck it. It's just Kansas. I have a feeling this problem will completely sort itself out. Perhaps from widespread national news coverage of the snowballing epidemic of women receiving back-alley abortions in clinics stocked with nothing more than burnt-out light bulbs and rusty clothes hangers. Or even better, maybe the entire state infrastructure of Kansas will just collapse after at a generation of it's citizens are denied abortion rights and they become plagued with legions of genetically muddied nightmares that can only come from years of incestuous rutting in Wal-Mart parking lots under the harvest moon.

Either way, pop some corn and get ready for the fireworks. This should be good.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

New Yorkers are FABULOUSSSSSS!!!


That's right boys and girls, the vote to approve gay marriage in the great, progressive state of New York has passed. And limp-wristed celebrants are cavorting in the streets. Truly a happy day to be a New Yorker.

OK, who picked up the sarcasm there? Good job. Gold star for you.

Now, for bonus points, who can guess the cause for my sarcasm? Did you guess it's because I'm against gay marriage? Wrong. Give me that star back, dunce.

I just feel it's a little sad that we're celebrating this heartily for a vote which in my mind should have been a no-brainer. In this nation which which was founded on personal freedoms and the right to the democratic process, which established early the separation of church and state, it truly is a tragic notion that same-sex marriages were not given the go-ahead in what is globally considered to be one of the most progressive states in the country until 2011.

For those of you against gay marriages, do me a favor. Just leave the fucking country. Get out, and stop throwing your inbred, drive-in movie sized foreheads into the gears of progress. You're fucking up the party.

That's right, I'm switching the tables on you redneck fucks. I'm sick and tired of these bible-thumping troglodytes being the only people that get to go around screaming "This is America! And if you don't like America then you can just get out!" Fuck you assholes.

In my opinion, anything and everything should be legal as long as you're not causing harm to, or infringing upon the liberties of another person. The fact of the matter is, no matter what your religious convictions may be, no one is doing you a whit of harm by throwing some dick in the back whole and getting some same sex lovin'. In fact, same sex marriages and those engaged in same sex relationships by and large are more considerate of the long term prosperity of this country than these hill people that are clamoring against their union. At least they're not poisoning the population with droves of buck-toothed spawn, decimating our supply of resources and further complicating and entrenching our drain upon the planet. In the words of Doug Stanhope, "sodomy is eco-friendly". And what is more American than ensuring that there is in fact an America for our children to inherit some day?

It's times like this where a part of me honestly wishes for a Huxley-esque dystopia in which we can regulate these savage animals that feel the inherent need to get up and protest every time something comes across the state house floor that has absolutely no bearing on their lives whatsoever. Heavy doses of soma for all of you. Pipe the fuck down.

And in closing, here's an interesting little fact for those of you planning to walk on Albany Monday morning to start the protest frenzy under the guise of protecting the moral integrity of this great nation, to preserve the ideals of our founding fathers who made this the land of freedom and opportunity that it is. Ready?

In 1973 Maryland became the first state in this country to ban same-sex marriages. That's right! Until that point there was no law or statute on the books defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman in any state in the country. Granted, same sex marriages were far from encouraged, but it just wasn't something that came up enough and raised enough ire that it needed to be legislated. Isn't that a nice image of America? A place that has so much freedom that your liberty doesn't need to be marked and tallied in a giant tome of oppression and contrition?

Wake the fuck up people. We don't need laws telling us that we can do these things. Liberty is not having a list of things you're allowed to do. Liberty is having the freedom to just do them. We just need to stop being cunts and getting all up in other people's business, trying to tell them how to run their lives behind closed doors.

"We can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. A choice, right now, between fear and love."
--Bill Hicks

Who the fuck wants to get married, anyway? Jesus, if I ever ended up locked into wedlock with this maniac, I'd probably want the to be free to check out the other side, too.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Light, seeking light, doth light of light beguile

Morning Psychonauts!

Do I have a story for you. In all honesty right now, I am grinning from ear to ear like some mongoloid foreigner who doesn't realize the INS man at the door isn't his friend. There is just so much awesomeness packed into this one article. And yes, awesomeness is a word. Fuck you. If you couldn't have guessed this post was going to be about Shakespeare by reading the title, then you have no grounds to criticize me for walking in his footprints and making up my own words to fit my needs.

From Shakespeare's body could be dug up to unearth the bard's 'cannabis habit'

Grinning yet? Because I still can't stop smirking and chortling.

So, apparently some South African professor of paleontology, Francis Thakeray, has decided that he needs to put to rest once and for all the debate about whether or not old man Bill got down on the herb. Weird thing is, after my years as an English major who spent a goodly amount of time studying The Bard, I had no idea this was even up for debate.

According to the article, Thakeray is claiming that previous studies on Shakespeare's personal effects have revealed trace residues of cannabis in his collection of pipes, even all these centuries later. To prove his drug usage beyond a doubt, the professor wants to exhume Shakespeare's corpse for some more conclusive tests.

Thakeray has also promised to use this opportunity, should permission be granted to continue with the project, to complete a 3D imaging scan on the remains to get a better idea of what Shakespeare really looked like.

Now, here's where it gets even better. Again, this is a joyous little snippet of information that I was completely unaware of until I read this article. Apparently, there's a bit of a medieval urban legend surrounding the final resting place of Billy S.

The epitaph on his tomb in Stratford-Upon-Avon, the town where Shakespeare was born, reads as follows:
Good friend for Jesus sake forbeare
To dig the dust enclosed here
Blessed be the man that spares these stones
And cursed be he that moves my bones.

That's right! The man has an old school Egyptian style curse threatening those who would disrupt his eternal rest! How bad ass is that?!

Now, in answer to the supposed curse, Thakeray has gone on record saying he is fully confident that he can complete his work without disturbing a single bone. But come on. How awesome would it be if you turned on the news a few months from now and saw reports on a mummified Shakespeare terrorizing London? I wonder if he'd take the time to go take in a showing of The Book of Mormon on Broadway? Twist something up and see how his torch is being carried in the modern age.

But in all seriousness here folks, who honestly gives a fuck about whether or not William Shakespeare liked to get high? As much of a supporter as I am of the use of cannabis, and as big of a fan as I am of the works of Shakespeare (and especially as much as I enjoy the two in combination), I have to say that this is just one piece of history that I think would better serve mankind as a source of pointless and unprovable coffee table debate. Do we really need to go out and settle this one way or another, rendering Shakespeare's marijuana habits just another useless fact floating in the expansive ether of Google?

O! Brave New World, that has such people in it!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Great for a rainy day

No words of wisdom today, folks. Take a load off and enjoy just being.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

None of the Above!

Youse guys seen that movie Brewster's Millions with Richard Pryor and John Candy?

Classic film, right?

So, while we watch the Republican party parade incompetent, extra-chromosome toting savages across the debates, and Obama continues to misrepresent the people and disrespect their trust in the office he holds, I say we take a cue from Monty Brewster. In this upcoming presidential election (yes, I realize it's still June of 2011, I'm trying to get a jump on this one), I say we all honestly go into the voting booths and vote for, you guessed it, None of the Above!!

For the first time since America decided to patent its own flavor of democracy, we as a people have the connective power to actually pull something like this off. Thanks to social media platforms we can disseminate information while bypassing the traditional news circuits. Spread the word. None of the Above!

We'd be better off with no one manning the helm of this ugly monster. At the very least, we can stop wasting time blaming people when things go to shit. Save our time and energy trying to actually fix our problems.

None of the Above!!

"I figure voting for [Jackass] or [Douchebag] is just as silly as them running for office! Which is just as silly as me running for office! The only thing not silly is the power of the people's vote. And I think the people should use it to vote for: None of the Above!"

Damn Right.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Get Well Soon!

Here's a story out of North Carolina that is sure to warm your cockles.

From ABC: Man Robs Bank to Receive Free Health Care in Prison

Can we as a nation please just wake the fuck up for once? This should be screaming a warning fit to shake the foundations of the Capitol Building, but something tells me that once again those tremors of innate dissatisfaction will go unheeded once again.

I mean God Damnit, we have American citizens who are willing to go to PRISON just to receive health care. And the twisted thing here is, most people are getting upset that prisoners are even being offered health care on the tax payers dime! Never mind the fact that a man is willing to essentially voluntarily waltz into a prison cell and give up his freedom in exchange for life saving medical care.

This is just unacceptable in a country that is supposed to be the super power of the world. And yet we continue to throw hundreds of millions of dollars into military conflicts that no one gives a fuck about. Wouldn't it be nice if we could use some of that money to start actually providing medical coverage for our citizens instead of traipsing across the globe in the good name of spreading democracy? I tell you, friends, I have very little faith in the nature of a democratic government if the poster child for democracy is turning a blind eye and a deaf ear on the problems of it's own people in the name of turning a bloody profit over seas. Again at the expense of the tax payer.

When are we going to finally realize that voting for our politicians just isn't going to fix any of this bullshit? The entire system needs to be gutted and rebuilt from the ground up. This slow chemo-therapy-esque attempt at cutting out corruption just isn't working quickly enough. The cancer in our governing bodies is growing and spreading too quickly to be stopped by any means short of drastic surgery.

Maybe we need to stop arming the rebels in Libya and start giving weapons to our own American rebels, and see how that all works out. That's a valid plan, right? I mean fuck, I have to be using at least as much foresight as our government is using in arming the Libyan rebels. Nothing bad could possibly come of this....


Call the Doctah!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Too Fast! TOO FURIOUS!!!

From CNN:

ATF acting director may resign over Fast and Furious program

So, in case you haven't heard, Operation: Fast and Furious was an ATF run program where they attempted to track the transfers of legal gun purchases that ultimately ended up in the hands of criminals across the border. A seemingly obvious plan when you consider your options in trying to combat these well-armed drug lords south of the border.

The problem is, instead of intercepting the guns during whatever transactions the ATF was monitoring to garner intelligence on the machinations of the monster, officers were ordered to allow the guns to "walk", meaning they were to wait until the guns surfaced in Mexico before trying to intercept. Which has ultimately resulted in the guns from this ATF project being used to murder Mexican civilians, rival drug cartels, and US Border Patrol officers.

Now, is it just me, or does the ATF have the WORST track record of any arm of the Justice Department? From Waco, TX, to the widespread pictures of an ATF agent shoving a fully automatic assault rifle into young Elian Gonzales' face while he hid in a closet, to now being behind a program which led to deadly weapons being in the hands of murderous animals, when was the last time these people honestly chalked up a win?

And another thing. Who the fuck is responsible for naming these operations? Operation: Fast and Furious?? Seriously?? The only way I personally would put a stamp of approval on this title for the operation would be if Vin Diesel himself was running point on the whole thing. Straight up XXX style, jumping Corvettes off of bridges and everything. The general wanton silliness this title alone shows is grounds enough to demand that someone resign, if you ask me.

Alright, that's enough derision for a Monday afternoon.

Love ya, freaks. Get out there and get it done.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

If I have seen farther than other men... is only because I have stood on the shoulder's of giants.

A toast, to the man who taught me that even Robert Frost can be full of shit. Fuck the path less traveled, grab a machete and tear through the brush.

'Cause that's what you get when you live on the run

Happy Father's Day

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The best things come in threes.

Like Neapolitan ice cream: Strawberry, Vanilla, and Chocolate. A timeless combination.

Or, like the American crusade against moral ideals rather than tangible enemies.
The War on Drugs
The War on Terrorism
And now, coming to a town near you, the War on Hackers.

Take a look at this map that Al-Jazeera put together illustrating the details of recent cyber-attacks against American corporations and government institutions.

Ranging from playful assaults designed to embarrass more than harm, to the more malicious infractions of invasion of private government servers, it would certainly appear that the underground hacking community is getting more work done, and stepping deeper into the spotlight, than any time since the days of Kevin Mitnick.

So, what will be the response of the establishment? As stated in the article above, with several exceptions most of these attacks are originating from the United States. How lightly will the government deal the card of declaring war against it's own citizens? Many argue that malicious hacking is not the proper method of garnering attention in the right circles if you're jockeying for change, but our vaunted right to assembly doesn't appear to be doing much these days. At least we know the hackers have garnered the attention and raised the ire of the decision makers on Capitol Hill.

There is no doubt in my mind that the government will start a quick and efficient campaign to cripple these hackers' attempts at raising a little hell. The only question is, when the axe finally does fall, will the people back the establishment? Or the revolution?

Only time will tell.

Have a great weekend, freaks.

Friday, June 17, 2011

"No Knock Raid"

Top 'o the morning to ye, lads and lassies!

Today, I have a very special edition of It's Just A Ride for you. That's right! Today marks the official milestone of my 100th post. And in honor of that, I've decided to go with a posting that will largely be focused as a music showcase post. But unlike most of my music showcases, this one isn't getting the spotlight just because I think it's a jam. This tune is getting the spotlight because it has a pretty important message.

And that song is "No Knock Raid" by Lindy:

Sporting a haunting melody, and even spookier visuals, "No Knock Raid" is a protest piece shining a little light on one of the most dangerous and morally questionable tactics of the DEA in regards to the War on Drugs. Just about as self-explanatory as a song title and subject matter can get, I don't really need to sit here and try and explain this one to you. Just sit back and give it a listen.

And on a personal note, thanks for sticking with me through 100 posts of rambling madness. Here's to another 100 more.

My old man used to have a clever little toast he would use to get a laugh out of party situations. Never failed to get a chuckle out of me whenever I was down, or getting to heated in an argument that he saw as inconsequential. And I find it a fitting maxim for this little cyber-celebration.

Here's to you, and here's to me
Hope we never disagree
And if we do, well fuck you
Here's to me

Enjoy the day, freaks. I'll be back tomorrow, same bat-time, same bat-channel.

Love ya.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Not making any friends on this one...

Alright people, let's do this. *Cracks knuckles*

From CNN: Libyan Rebels say captured cell phone shows rape, torture

OK, so here's the deal. Somehow CNN got their hands on a video which Libyan rebels claimed to have lifted off the corpse of a Gadhafi loyalist, which shows two men dressed in civilian clothing sexually abusing and torturing a woman with what appears to be a broom stick. Now, I'm not going to argue that this footage is anything but deplorable. It serves as a twisted testament to the ugly and violent tendencies of man that not only were these vulgar actions committed, but someone felt the need to film it on a cell phone so they could relive the moment later.

OK, now here's my theory. CNN has openly stated in the article that they have no way of authenticating the video. The men shown in the clip aren't wearing any uniforms, and the best that can be said about it is that experts agree that the men are sporting accents that are apparently a close match with what is used in Tripoli. So we can hazard a guess that these men are most likely Libyan, but we have no proof that they are employed by Gadhafi.

What we can be sure of is that Obama is currently taking grenades in the trenches for his continued support of military action in Libya. Not only that, but Obama is currently making the stance that he does not need the approval of Congress to continue his actions in Libya, as this military conflict does not meet the legal definition of the word "War". Anyone else reminded of Bill Clinton's assertion that he wasn't lying when he said he did not have sexual relations with "that woman, Miss Lewinski", because blowjobs don't really count? So, we know the President is getting a lot of flack for supporting these actions, and doesn't appear to give much of a fuck what people are saying about it.

Kinda makes me think of all those times that the terror alert would escalate a color or two every time the Bush administration would get into a PR nightmare. Bush fucks up, the terrorists are gathering and we've gone from Yellow to Orange. Obama starts taking shit for what's going on in Libya, and all of a sudden we get cell-phone videos of Libyan loyalists raping women. You'd have to be a monster to say that we shouldn't be helping these people. Pretty damned convenient, right?

The fact of the matter is that two weeks from now, no one is going to remember the disclaimer on the side of the article where CNN comes right out and says that they can't factually prove any element of this video. They're not even disclosing their source of the clip. I can understand this, as anyone who leaked such a video from Libya would be in serious danger of violent repercussions from the regime should their identity be leaked, but it also makes it pretty difficult to verify what they're claiming it shows. So this time next month all we're going to remember is that Libya loyalists are running around broomstick-raping all willy-nilly, and it is our moral duty as American's to put a stop to it.

Seems like a classic CIA disinformation campaign to me. That's all I'm saying.

And as long as we're concerning ourselves with the contents of cellphone videos, how about what's going on in our own country? Check out this fascist bullshit that came out of Miami over Memorial Day weekend.

Here we have actual uniformed police officers unloading on a man after a heated police chase and then going around confiscating the evidence. At least we know that these animals are on the payroll. Pointing firearms right in the faces of citizens for the deplorable crime of filming in a public area. God bless America.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Beheading the Headless

How do you "behead" an organization which has no leadership?

That's the $64,000 question as reports are coming in from Turkey and Spain regarding the arrests of suspected members of the "hacktivist" group Anonymous this past week.

With the arrests of over 30 individuals, 9 of whom were minors, Turkey is claiming to have apprehended several of the key leaders of the group in retaliation for an internet assault against the government's networks.

Anonymous released a statement claiming responsibility for the attack against Turkey, which was carried out in protest of a new system which it claims the government will use to censor the internet in its' country, beginning in August.

As this cyber war between governments and internet activists continues, the glaring question is: How do you destroy an organization which has no definitive leadership? And even if there was a clear leadership structure to the group, what would removing the head of the snake even accomplish? As we have seen in the wake of the death of Osama bin Laden, Al Qaeda seems to still be organized enough to carry out terrorist acts in Yemen and other areas.

The fact of the matter is Anonymous, much like the Hydra of Greek myth, will only continue to sprout three heads for every one removed. As these governments continue to use Gestapo-esque practices in an attempt to control its citizens and the flow of information, it will only serve to infuriate more faceless individuals to join the cause.

Grab some popcorn and settle in for the long haul, boys and girls. This is only going to get more interesting.


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

"The People are never as weak as they think they are at the beginning"

If you have the time today, please take a seat and watch this video.

Fuck a cup of coffee. Nothing wakes you up like the taste of civil unrest on the air. "The Times, They Are A'Changing."

Thank you, Anonymous.

Monday, June 13, 2011


New York City opens "anti-obesity" housing complex.

There is something incredibly unsettling and Orwellian about this. I'm not exactly sure what that might be just yet, but I know this article has made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

What the hell is wrong with this country?

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Congrats, Doc!

Today we celebrate the anniversary of Dock Ellis pitching a no-hitter in 1970 against the San Diego Padres. Now, I'm sure a lot of you are thinking, since when does this guy give a fuck about sports? Why is he telling us to celebrate a no-hitter from over 40 years ago?

Well, my friends, that would be because Dock Ellis pitched that no-hitter whilst under the influence of LSD. Imagine! A no-hitter in a professional ball game while you're losing your mind!

Dock Ellis, we salute you.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Have a Good Trip

To all the .rons heading to the Balloonfest today for moe.:

Don't die.

See ya in the North Country, freaks. It's gonna be a helluva day.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Thank You, Mr. Ellsberg

Check out this article from The Raw Story

All the crimes Nixon committed are now legal.

Now, that's a point I haven't heard before.

Daniel Ellsberg, the man responsible for leaking Pentagon documents to the New York Times 40 years ago, said in an interview that Richard Nixon would "admire [President Barack] Obama's boldness" in trying to silence whistleblowers.

The actions that in part lead to the resignation of Richard Nixon are now seen almost as commonplace in government actions. Check out this quote from the article:
He would probably also feel vindicated (and envious) that ALL the crimes he committed against me -- which forced his resignation facing impeachment -- are now legal...

That includes burglarizing my former psychoanalyst's office (for material to blackmail me into silence), warrantless wiretapping, using the CIA against an American citizen in the US, and authorizing a White House hit squad to 'incapacitate me totally' (on the steps of the Capitol on May 3, 1971)... But under George W. Bush and Barack Obama, with the PATRIOT Act, the FISA Amendment Act, and (for the hit squad) President Obama's executive orders. [T]hey have all become legal.

Now, I don't know about you, but that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Enjoy the weekend boys and girls.

Scream it from the rooftops.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Coming Soon to a Convention Center near you...

It would appear that the Gravedigger has been dethroned as the King of Monster Trucks.

From CNN: New weapon of choice for Mexican drug traffickers: 'Monster' trucks

To those of you who have been reading this from the beginning, remember when I brought up a story like this? Back in February CNN ran a similar story talking about how the drug cartels were using homemade narcotic submarines to mule their drugs across borders. Well, it looks like their stepping up the game a little bit, using converted trucks to just blast drugs across the desert into America, and guns back to Mexico.

You really have to admire their ingenuity. I mean damn, I wish some the organizations I am a consumer of were half as industrious in providing quality customer service as these guys. Seriously, these things require legitimate anti-tank rounds to bring down.

On a side note, I now know where I will be going when the zombie apocalypse hits. Where else can you be sure to stumble upon enough ammunition, fire-arms, and fortified assault vehicles just laying around to ensure your survival?

So, the Drug Cartels now have a legitimate Army and Navy. Can't wait to see what they come out with for an Air Force.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

God Bless Unemployment Benefits

Just wanted to say that. And to all you conservatives reading this and saying, "Get a job, hippie!", well, fuck you too.

Celebrate good Obama, come on! It's Obama-bama!!!

Get your hands on some of that Gov't Cheese, baby.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Antsy in my Pantsy


I suspend all faith in the schools of science until someone in a lab coat can provide me with a universal remote for life. Need that fast forward button, now.

You're a sexy beast, Rob Derhak.

Monday, June 6, 2011

How Timely!!

From The Atlantic Wire

The U.N. Declares Internet Access a Human Right

With the media still bursting at the seems with reports of governments instituting various levels of control and restriction on the internet, the UN has come out and officially declared internet access a human right.

In an attempt to put a stop to virtual censorship, the UN has created a new position, held by Frank La Rue, designed to be an official whistle-blower in support of the individual's right to free and open access to the internet. In a report released to the General Assembly last Friday, La Rue mentioned the use of the internet in the Arab revolutions this past spring as one of the proofs of the internet as "an indispensable tool for realizing a range of human rights, combating inequality, and accelerating development and human progress."

Now, the question here is, who is going to give a damn? With the Obama administration taking an increasingly hard-lined stance against organizations supporting transparency in government actions, and continued reports of Chinese bloggers and online political activists disappearing in the night, that's two of the five permanent members of the UN Security Council that are at odds with this new declaration. I'm sure there are similar problems in France, the UK and Russia, but it's Monday morning and I'm too tired to research that deeply right now. And beyond the members of the Security Council, Syria is now in a battle to cut off its citizens' access to the internet, fighting international hacker groups attempting to keep the connection alive.

So my question is this. What happens if these countries continue to deny their people what the UN has now officially described as a basic human right? Will there be actual repercussions for refusing to comply? Or will this just be another case of nations playing lip service to the UN and continuing to go on their merry way?

Only time will tell, I suppose.

Enjoy the week ahead of you, friends. Hope it's a good one.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Protection from what Tommy?! Ze Germans?!?!

Reported from Al Jazeera English:

German Beansprouts 'likely cause' of E.coli outbreak

German authorities have identified a locally grown crop as being the likely cause of an E.coli outbreak that has been responsible for deaths and illness across Europe. This problem, as it stands, appears to be mostly concentrated in Germany, with scattered cases being reported from other European nations.

The interesting aside to this article are the reports leaking in of "deplorable conditions" in hospitals in Northern Germany, specifically Hamburg, the epicenter of the outbreak. I'm not going to lie, while I was initially surprised that E.coli could even be transmitted from vegetable matter (I ain't no biology major, it's all Greek to me), it was these reports of the hospital conditions that made me pause enough to decide to make this my article of the day. Knowing absolutely nothing about hospitals in Europe, I had always just assumed that the Germans, being the meticulous and efficient people they are, would have some of the best and cleanest hospitals in the world.

Just goes to show, when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME. Teehee, I love bringing in childish mnemonic devices into my posts. Makes me feel so juvenile.

And on that note, enjoy what's left of the weekend freaks. Back to the grind tomorrow. Unless of course you're unemployed like myself, in which case, let's keep the rager going!!

Creepy ass Eastern Europeans....

Saturday, June 4, 2011

The Best Part of Waking Up...

Is hearing BofA got fucked!!


Check out this story about a Florida couple finally taking a piece out of Bank of America

mmmm...feels good, doesn't it??

Fuck those people. Have a great weekend, folks.

This video, in case you can't tell just by watching it, is footage of some plain clothes cops detaining a peaceful protester out side of a Bank of America in Tampa back in April of this year. Scary, scary shit people.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Hack The Planet!!!

Looks like Zero_Cool and the gang are back, causing trouble for the world's faceless corporations.

From The International Business Times, Netizens speculate next target as hackers rule corporations world over.

Now I understand how this can be a touchy subject for a lot of people. It's very easy to look at these hackers as the cyber-terrorists of this Brave New World of ours, wreaking havoc on share values as they attack the networks of some of the most powerful international corporations on the planet. But in this day in age where professional whistle-blowers are being seduced into allowing these mega-corporations free reign with the temptation of cushy lobbyist jobs (Meredith Attwell Baker, anyone?), the fact of the matter is we can no longer trust the institution to regulate itself.

It falls on the shoulders of these anonymous individuals to ensure that these faceless organizations retain some accountability for their actions. This whole country was founded on the concept of checks and balances, the idea that one hand watches the other. And that is really all these hacker organizations are doing, making sure that these mega-monoliths feel the fear that someone is actually keeping an eye on their actions, a fear that we as civilians feel every single day.

Think of it this way. While the public citizens must live with the knowledge that The Patriot Act allows for virtually every aspect of their lives to be monitored, these Patriotic Actions do the same for these companies.

Besides, who could stay angry at goofy bastards like these?


Thursday, June 2, 2011

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Sweet Tap-Dancing Christ

That's it. I've had it. This means war you filthy pig fuckers.

Catholic Church releases report blaming Hippies for Child Abuse Scandals

You have got to be fucking kidding me. According to the LA Times, a collection of American bishops requested that John Jay College conduct a study into the cause of the spike in child molestation by priests during the 60s and 70s. And their conclusion? Blame it on the counter culture. It's all the hippies' fault.

Personally, the only thing I needed to read in this article to get me sputtering and cursing was this single line: " suggests that only a minority of the abusers should be considered pedophiles, because most priests molested children older than 10 — even though most social scientists consider 13 to be a more accurate cutoff..."

Seriously?!?! What the fuck kind of monster do you have to be to even put that in writing??? I'm reminded of Dave Chappelle's stand-up bit, "How Old is Fifteen, Really?" (if you haven't heard it you can find it on YouTube, side splitting stuff), where Chappelle makes the assertion that 15 is a lot older and more mature than a lot of people are willing to admit or adapt to socially. And while I agree with Dave that 15 is a lot closer to 18 these days, the fact that an accredited school of Criminal Justice is trying to make the argument that diddling an 11 year old shouldn't really be considered pedophilia just has my bile duct working over time.

The report also shines a light on the relative decline of incidents of abuse in recent years in comparison to decades past. To explain this decrease, the report points to "activism by victims' advocates and tougher responses to abuse by bishops". Really?? Tougher responses by bishops?? By that, do you mean just shuffling the pedophiles around the game of musical pulpits so less people catch on? As long as we're being really ridiculous about these findings, I've got a hypothesis for you. You wanna know why I think cases of abuse might be going down? I think it's because of the hippies. That's right, the enlightened people that were smart enough to get their families away from this barbaric institution of medieval kid fuckers have simply left less families in the church to choose their prey from. Less church members, less incidents of pedophilia. You can't just go around using the rosary as a set of anal beads all willy-nilly, and there are simply less children to corner in the confessional these days.

So thank you, flower children, for doing your part to combat this deplorable criminal behavior. I salute you!