Thursday, March 31, 2011

"Lenny Bruce is not afraid"

That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane...

Today officially marks the one year anniversary of my entrance into the world of cramped cubicles, shuffling paper and pale fake smiles. That's right boys and girls, it's been a full year since I started employment in a corporate office. Surely the second coming is imminent. Any day now...

But take heart, dear friends. While we anxiously await the arrival of the low pressure system that will bring the toads, and various other amphibious creatures, that will assuredly fall from the skies in the not too distant future, know now that I will remain vigilant here at my post. Screaming into the wind for any of you hapless fools unfortunate enough to stumble upon these pages.

For it is in these lines that I am able to find comfort and escape from the drudgery of being chained to my particle board cubicle, surrounded by posters of kittens clinging to branches telling me to "Hang in there!" And for that, I thank you for humoring me and continuing to return to peruse my mad ramblings.

So as this mad, mad world tightens and accelerates in its psychotic downward spiral like a penny nearing the end of the track in one of those funnel donation barrels, like Ford Prefect from Douglas Adams' opus I have but one piece of advice: Don't Panic. At least you can take stock in knowing that you're not the only crazy one out there.

And I don't know about you, but I'm feeling pretty psyched.

Right? Right!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Today in History - Epic Failure!

A happy hump day to you, my friends.

On this day, let us take a moment to stop and reflect on what might have been. 30 years ago, to this very day, the world almost rid itself of the parasitic virus that was Ronald Reagan. On March 30th, 1981, an obsessed Jodie Foster fan fired 6 shots in the general direction of the President, hitting Reagan and 3 of his coterie of scum.

The shooter, John Hinckley, was eventually found not guilty by reason of insanity, with his defense citing a bevy of medical reasons along with an unhealthy obsession with the film Taxi Driver. In my opinion though, all the defense needed to do to prove the insanity plea was to showcase the weapon Hinckley used to attempt the assassination. The man tried to kill a President of the United States with a .22 cal. Rohm RG-14 pistol. Come on now, really? The thing that really kills me is that as a result of this failed assassination is that one of the men who was injured with Reagan went on to champion stricter gun control legislation, which resulted in Clinton signing into law a bill which instated the policy of requiring a 5-day waiting period before people could purchase firearms. Meaning Hinckley could have gone to any gun shop and traded up for something that packed enough of a wallop to get the job done.

So Reagan survived, and went on full steam in his mission to abuse the trust of the American public and facilitate the corporate takeover of our democracy. God Bless America.

Hinckley remains incarcerated in a mental health facility to this day. His attorney's have been pushing that his mental illness is "in remission", and he is allowed unsupervised visits to his parents once a week, though the Secret Service still "voluntarily" supervises Hinckley on these outings. Seriously folks, you can't make this shit up. I'm pulling all of this information off The History Channel's website here.

Now I know some of you out there are probably thinking I'm some obsessed anti-Reagan nut, seeing as this is the second time I've posted about him since the start of this blog, but I swear, that's just the luck of the draw. I had no idea what to write about today, typed "today in history" into Google, and the story you read is what I was hit with.

Oh, and before I close, allow me this quick aside. Also on this day in history, John Denver had his first number 1 hit in 1974 with "Sunshine On My Shoulders."

Talk about Stranger Than Fiction.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"Who you gonna blame when the rain comes in?"

Pentagon announces current tab for operations in Libya

10 days in. $600 Million later.

What the fuck?!

I'm sorry but can someone please explain to me exactly where the fuck this money is coming from, and who the fuck thinks that this is how we should be spending it?

As if we didn't learn enough from the debacles in Iraq and Afghanistan. We're fucking broke people. Does no one remember all of Obama's hard line speeches about how the coffers are literally empty at this point?

I just fail to see how this is in any way a prudent decision. Sure, Gaddafi's treatment of his own people is certainly deplorable. But how the fuck is this our problem? The French and British seemed to be pretty gung-ho on the whole campaign without any influence from us. Why don't we let them take a turn at playing World Police?

Our involvement in Libya is just another example of how this country is being run into the ground by a group of elitist scum-suckers who have figured out how to turn a profit off of throwing their blood-lust fueled erections into other people's business. Sure, the bill so far to the taxpayer for this "conflict" is 600 million. But someone out there (Raytheon) is actually making all of these missiles, and turning a profit off it. And these representatives of the military industrial complex that turn these profits have the buying power to keep lobbyists bullying the population of Capitol Hill into ensuring that their is no deviation in the profit stream.

At least I can take comfort in the fact that I haven't heard the term WMD mentioned once. Yet. I think the government has finally realized that people won't take the bullshit from their lies and blindly follow our noble and mighty leaders carrying the cross into battle. Unfortunately, it appears that we don't even have to be whipped up with the possibility of apocalyptic military encounters to allow these atrocities to occur.

And now the news is slowly seeping in that we are in fact going to be placing Marines on the ground. ABC is reporting that a group of Marines are already enroute to Tripoli. What happened to the lofty promises that our involvement would be strictly in a support role, with a focus on air strikes and no risk of American service men being placed in harm's way on the ground? Seems like that tune changed pretty quickly.

I realize this post is sloppy and disjointed, and for that I apologize. I just hope that at the least you can take the facts out of the news reports I have provided and draw a conclusion without too much interference from my wild ramblings. If you'll excuse me, my stomach ulcer is currently boiling through the lining of my gut and I need to expel some bile before my body is consumed by stomach acid. Have a lovely day everyone.

"Who you gonna blame when the rain comes in?

Monday, March 28, 2011

Happy Monday everyone.

I've had a lot of ideas for posts running through my head today, but sadly it's a fucking Monday and I am completely incapable of organizing my thoughts into a single coherent message. What does that mean for you, my loyal hordes of devotees? Another cop-out music post.

Sure, its spring time and this is a song about the fall, but fuck it. Shit's got a funky beat. The only band with the audacity to call themselves "The Band", and the tenacity to pull it off. Fuckin' rock.

Have a good one folks, hopefully my head will be more together tomorrow and I'll be able to throw you something with some legitimate substance.

Keep on keepin' on.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

sunday Sunday SUNDAY!!!

Homoerotic acrobatics!


You can't tell me that face doesn't belong on the wall in a police station. Really makes you cringe.

Hope you all got a good gut laugh out of that one. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Define Cosmic Justice:

-- A hate-filled anti-asian racist rant ultimately resulting in the donation of money to the aid of Japan in the wake of the tsunami.

Fucking love it.

I just found out about this story involving a young female from UCLA. Apparently she thought it would be a great idea to post in the video blog - which subsequently is posted to youtube for the world to see - to go off the handle about how annoying it is when asian students interrupt her diligent studies with their "Ching-Chong Ling-Long" China-babble. Now, while I didn't spend too much time in the library at NU, I can certainly relate to the problem of having people interrupt your studies by being inconsiderately loud on their cell phones in the library. But hell, in my experience, loud-mouthed blond bimbos were always much greater culprits in this regard than mild, soft spoken asians.

Which brings us to another student at UCLA, Jimmy Wong. Since the earthquake and tsunami that rattled the Japanese infrastructure a few weeks ago, Jimmy has been posting videos to YouTube of funny little songs that he records with his friends. These songs are also available on iTunes, with the proceeds of every song purchased going to the Japanese aid effort. How's that for noble?

Jimmy, like millions of Americans, saw Ms. Wallace's video blog and was rightly offended. But, instead of forwarding death threats like so many other incensed individuals, Jimmy decided to turn the whole debacle on its head. He recorded a musical response to her rant, and I have to say, it's freaking hilarious.

Jimmy has made the song available to the masses on YouTube, and if you enjoy this or any of his other uploads, please purchase the track from iTunes. Not only is it going to a great cause, but the fact that Jimmy Wong is putting in the time and effort to professionally produce his work and yet is not expecting any compensation for his effort speaks to a flavor of the human spirit that I think has been largely lost in recent years.

If you happen to read this Jimmy, keep up the great work. I'm hopping on iTunes right now and purchasing my copy of Ching Chong. Best love song I've heard in years.

Friday, March 25, 2011

"She's a hypnotist collector"

Another Friday morning, with the shimmering promise of the weekend on the gentle curve of the horizon. And what a weekend it shall be!

Furthur will be coming to Radio City Music Hall this weekend, and while I will not be in attendance at the show itself because I'm broke as a joke and can't afford such frivolities, I will be taking part in the regular circus that pops up around the traveling minstrels like so many mushrooms following a spring rain.

And to get you in the spirit of the last weekend of March and the quickening approach of spring weather, lets get a little spring in our steps with this acoustic gem.

Jerry, Bobby, and Phil laying down one sweet mellifluous rendition of a timeless Bob Dylan original. Enjoy, my friends. And have a lovely day.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Attention all you rulebreakers...

Found this video yesterday through a link on Facebook. Check it out.

How's that for a head trip? Garret John LoPorto, if you ever happen to stumble across this, thank you. Keep up the good work.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

First Lillith, now Asherah

So here's an interesting news clip.

The Huffington Post posted an article last night titled God's Wife, Asherah, May Have Been Edited Out Of The Bible Says Theologian. Now, how's that for an attention grabbing headline?

So, quick review, a British Theologian named Francesca Stavrakopoulou is presenting evidence that the female counterpoint of Yahweh, or God, was edited out of the early editions of the bible. It is widely known and accepted that early Israelites were polytheists, so it truly isn't a far stretch to say that in the fervor of promoting the new monotheistic dogma of a fledgling religion that poor Asherah fell by the wayside.

In fact, this wouldn't be the first instance of a powerful female figure being written out of the early texts of the Judeo-Christian tradition. Ever heard of the Lilith Fair? Ever wonder who the fuck Lilith was, and why so many bra-burning feminists found her inspiring enough to use her as the name-sake for the most powerful pro-feminist music event of the western hemisphere?

Lilith, according to ancient text, was Adam's first wife. That's right, Eve was neither the first woman, nor Adam's first lay. According to the story Lilith, like Adam, was created from dust and brought to life with the breath of God. As the legend goes, Lilith was far too independent and fiery for Adam's taste. Apparently Lilith decided during the first act of coitus that she wanted to get on top and take a ride, and Adam wasn't too comfortable with being a bottom. He flipped out and kicked her out of paradise and asked God nicely for a replacement wife. And that is why Eve was constructed from Adam's rib and not of the dust like he was, instilling her with a sense of female subservience and started the paradigm of females being of a lower class than males that has been so prevalent in society for centuries.

And what happened to poor Lilith? After she was expelled from the garden she spent her time lurking around the borders or paradise, waiting for the fall of man and becoming the first ever recognized demon in the Judeo-Christian tradition, and ultimately was written out of the story entirely. So if we know that Lilith was sacrificed to the god of ecumenical politics, why would it be so hard to believe that God's wife was left by the side of the road in the same manner?

My point is this. The whole concept of these religious texts being the unadulterated word of god is fucking bullshit. Even in the highly unlikely event that the original texts were indeed passed down from divine influence to the hands of man, they have been held in the hands of men for millenia. And if history has proven nothing else, it's that man will do just about anything for personal benefit. I'm not saying that having faith is a bad thing, but people need to realize that just because people have been saying something for a really long time in no way makes it true. So stop getting offended just because someone came up with a little evidence actually proving that the fables you've been basing your life off are little more than fables. Nice pretty stories that help to instill morality in impressionable youth. The problem is when you start taking those stories as dogmatic law, because that is how people end up getting so enthralled with the concept of the divine that they are willing to kill people for disagreeing with their version of the story.

So the next time some whack-job is going off the handle about the infallible nature of the word of God in the bible, remember poor Lilith and how she wound up forgotten in the turning of the page. That book ain't nothing but the greatest game of Telephone in human history, and any graduate of a kindergarten class will be able to tell you how those exercises end up.

It's easy, if you try.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

And thus will the last days be known...

Morning friends. And a glorious morning it is.

Why is it glorious, you may ask? Because I have stumbled upon irrefutable proof that the last days are indeed upon us. That's correct boys and girls. All the maniacs screaming in the wind with their cardboard signs have had it right this whole time.

Now that I have you appropriately sitting on the edge of your seat, gnawing your fingernails down to the point of drawing blood, allow me to present to you the harbinger of the Revelations of Paul, the trumpeter of the inexorable approach of the fel beast of the underworld: Hatsune Miku

Alright, now I know I'm a little behind the pack on this one. Hatsune Miku apparently has been doing live performances like the one showcased above since the summer of 2009. I wasn't even aware that technology of this magnitude existed, let alone was selling out concerts in Japan. I don't even want to think about how much people were paying to get into the doors at these gross displays of pop-icon worship.

It's a fucking computer program! God damnit, not even the voice is real! Who the fuck are these people that are funding these godless endeavors?? Now don't get me wrong, the technology is badass. As I discussed with a friend of mine, the day they start using this to have Satan appear as a hologram on stage at a Primus show, then you bet your ass I'll be hugging the rail with my jaw on the ground. But designing an entire concert tour around a fake, computerized voice with a fake, computerized holographic diva is just not art. You know, I seem to remember a time when people got real pissed at Millie Vanillie for lip-synching. Could someone please explain to me how this is different, let alone better?

Any hope that I ever had that the popular music charts would one day come to be dominated again by artists with actual talent have been utterly dashed. I quit. Throwing in the towel. After work I'm cutting my hair, shaving off my beard, and buying a Justin Bieber CD and a Hatsune Miku coffee mug.

Alas, poor [integrity of the recording industry]! I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite
jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath bore me on his back a
thousand times, and now how abhorr'd in my imagination it is!
My gorge rises at it.

Take arms against this sea of troubles you lazy bastards. Stand in defiant opposition of this crass garbage that is seeping into our homes through every crack in our armor of dignity, and by opposing, END THEM.

Monday, March 21, 2011

First, kill all the politicians

A happy monday morning to you, my fellow travelers and psychonauts!

I'm still struggling to catch up and sift through all the media bullshit involving Operation Odyssey Dawn. And to be honest, I'm really just at a loss. I feel shocked and confused, but not on our actions but rather that I feel shocked and confused at all. It's a brutal cycle.

It's sad, but since the days of George Carlin's meteoric rise to stardom on the comedy circuit it has been a rare occasion when you could count on a politician to be more honest and reliable than a comedian. And to prove that point, my video clip today is a collection of rants from my favorite living laughter technician, Joe Rogan.

Pretty succinctly stated for a man who does commentary for the UFC and former star of Fear Factor. I'm just getting really pissed off about all the lies we're getting out of Washington here.

What happened to all this business with the budget being completely fucked? We need to cut federal funding to public broadcasting, yet we can throw 100 Tomahawk missiles into a political situation that has nothing to do with us? According to Wikipedia, each Tomahawk missile costs roughly $570,000 dollars. Simple math here. I thought we were broke? $57 million in the opening action of a military conflict that at least half of America wants nothing to do with.

OK, I'm going to stop this disjointed and broken diatribe. I'm just too upset about all of this to properly organize and present my thoughts.

Have a great, emoticon smiley-face filled day America.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

In the words of Forrest Gump

"That's all I got to say about that."
--Forrest Gump

Operation Odyssey Dawn: Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

You better believe I'm living for the moment

It's the weekend. Get off your computer and enjoy it.

Put on those dancing shoes.

Friday, March 18, 2011

To treat ya like a cigarette

Friday. Another weekend getting ready to be kicked into full over drive.

You know what that means. I can't make myself give enough of a fuck about the oppressive stream of tragedy in the media circus, and we're getting another music post today. And since yesterday was St. Patrick's Day and most of you animals are probably hung over as fuck, let's keep it mellow.

30DB - Oh, Suzannah

This is from 30DB's performance at the All Good festival back in 2009. 30DB is a side project for Brendan Bayliss of Umphrey's McGee, and Jeff Austin of the Yonder Mountain String Band. Personally, this acoustic duo was one of the top highlights of the weekend, and I normally can't stand Bayliss. Something about his vocals with UM just rubs me the wrong way, but he kills it here. And any excuse to watch Jeff Austin noodle away on the mandolin is a high time in any estimation.

Enjoy the tunes, and get the fuck out there and show this Friday who's boss.

Silky Silky, Crazy Crazy.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

"Lord, I ain't ne'er seen nothin' like a Galway girl"

Top o' the mornin' t'ye! May the blessed winds of the Emerald Isle be at your back on this most celebrated and venerated of days, pushing you ever on towards the horizon of endless tomorrows.

OK, enough of that poetic crap. Happy St. Patty's!

Considering I've been getting kinda heavy the past couple of days, I figure it's probably in the best interest - of both my sanity and my readers - that I ease off the pedal a bit today and mellow out. And it is in that vein that I present today's musical offering.

Steve Earle - Galway Girl

Now some of you may already know this as the famous tune from that movie P.S. I Love You with Gerard Butler and Hilary Swank (though maybe not, I had never heard of it before I started looking for this clip on YouTube, apparently it was a hit though), but for those of you who are not familiar with the work of Mr. Earle, I recommend you look into it if you have any love of folk music.

Those of you who are not yet familiar with Steve Earle's work are probably looking in askance at why I would highlight an American artist on St. Patrick's Day, when there are so many original Irish musicians out there. Well, if you were to look into it, Steve Earle is often regarded as the American who helped to establish Irish folk as a genre. It's beyond difficult to find an Irish musician without at least one Earle cover in their repertoire.

For those of you familiar with the track, enjoy this old classic. For those who have yet to hear it, enjoy the new favorite. And for all of you, enjoy the debauchery of the day.

And in closing, before I leave you to your pints and whiskeys, a brief poem from one of Ireland's most revered poets and favorite sons.

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.


So get out there and have fun. And remember, everything you see around you today, all of it, every last bit, started out as a feeble dream. Seize yours.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Rainy Days, Rainy News

For all of you out there who still think that Obama is the hope this nation has been waiting for, the shining bastion of moral integrity to fill the void that has been so painfully palpable since the days of JFK, allow me to share with you a short series of news stories I stumbled upon this morning.

Obama backs out of promise to have the Feds stay out of state matters regarding marijuana cultivation
OK, here's a good one to start with. It would appear that the Obama administration figures that at this point we've all forgotten Obama's promise to keep the Feds out of states which had legalized marijuana cultivation for medical purposes. The DEA, in cooperation with the ATF, FBI, and local law enforcement, conducted a state-wide raid earlier this week against a series of medical marijuana grow operations and dispensaries in Montana. Chris Williams, co-owner of Montana Cannabis, said he was not given a reason why 1700 plants were seized and his employees were detained at gunpoint while federal agents orchestrated a standard shock-and-awe campaign, bursting on the scene with guns drawn.

While I can't say that these actions surprise me, my favorite part is the tight-lipped silence on the part of our government. Statements were refused to be issued from the attorney general's office, the local sheriff's department, and the DEA. Any request for information was met with a cold "details will be released at a later date." Yet people continue to call me paranoid...

CIA man freed after 'blood money' payment to victim's families
Next up, a heart-warming story out of Pakistan. In case you haven't been following this story, CIA contractor Raymond Davis was accused or murdering two Pakistani men in a recent altercation. The United States, infuriated that one of their own was being detained for murder, demanded that the Pakistani government grant Davis diplomatic immunity. In the end, all charges were dropped once Davis ponied up the 'blood money' for his offense, a common practice in Pakistani courts wherein the accused is granted a full pardon after supplying a negotiated amount of cash to the victim's families. The article makes no mention of the amount of money required to purchase the pardon, and once again US officials remained silent when asked to comment on the matter.

While none of this may seem too nefarious, as the mire of foreign court systems can certainly be alarmingly alien and confusing, it is the comments from the attorneys of the victim's families that throws up the red flag here. The victim's lawyers openly claim that they were detained en route to meeting with their clients, and unable to communicate with them while the families received phone calls from court officials, and summarily bullied into accepting the blood money in exchange for the loss of their loved ones. Once the papers were signed and the money was paid, Davis was acquitted of all charges and allowed to leave the court house in the company of a US consulate.

White House pushes to make illegal audio and video streaming a felony
And last but not least, we have this shining gem from Yesterday the White House proposed that Congress take up a sweeping reform of copyright laws, making it a felony to illegally stream copyrighted audio of video content on the web. Among many of the finer points of the proposal, the Obama administration is asking Congress to approve using wire-taps on "investigations of serious crimes", piggy-backing the paper on the Patriot Act's privacy invasion.

Also mentioned in the report is a warning against foreign-controlled and operated sites being an obstacle for US enforcement efforts. Now, I have no problem with paying for my digital content. I'm lucky enough that most of the music I listen to can be legally obtained for free as the bands I enjoy support live taping of their concerts, and my Netflix account isn't breaking the bank at 10 bucks a month. My fears arise out of the inclusion of wire-taps in the literature presented in the proposal.

You know, I remember a time when personal liberty was of paramount importance in this country. Yet this collection of news articles proves to me that the country I grew up loving disappeared long ago. There was a saying that I heard often growing up, used to describe willful children. "You give them an inch, and they'll take a mile. You give them a finger, and they'll take the whole arm." It's a sad state of affairs when cutesy quotations used to describe children can just as accurately be applied to the emerging fascism of a country who's government was designed to protect "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

Go back to bed America. Nothing to see here.

1984, yeah right bro! That's a typo, Orwell is living large!!"
--Cereal Killer

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Beware the Ides of March

March 15th. A day that has certainly left its mark on history.

In modern times, we use the ides to remember the fateful day when Julius Caesar was murdered by a group of 60 conspirators. What you may not have known, however, is that the ides were days of celebration even in ancient times.

March, named after the Roman god of war, Mars, took the 15th as a day of celebration for the deadly god. With a yearly festival marked by military parades, the Ides of March held significance long before Caesar was stabbed 23 times on the steps of the Theater of Pompey.

Caesar was assassinated by this group of Roman senators due to fear of the impending death of democracy. Caesar, having been elected "dictator perpetuo" by the Senate, was feared to be conspiring to overthrow the democracy of the republic with tyrannical rule. Ironically, Caesar's death led to civil war, the election of his heir Octavian to the throne of emperor, and the eventual dissipation of the republic in favor of the very empire that the assassins had hoped to avoid.

So on this most fateful day, let us learn from the mistakes of yesteryear. For the path to hell is paved in good intentions, more often than not. But also let us remember a time when men felt it was their duty to stand up and defend their democracy, by any means necessary.

So light that Guitar Fire. Will this year's Ides of March be another goose-stepping parade honoring the absoluteness of the control of the military complex? Or will we instead remember the outlast of the rebellion?

The choice is yours, and yours alone.

Monday, March 14, 2011

If Ignorance is Bliss...

Anyone ever wonder why ignorant people always seems so pissed off all the time?

I've been trying to avoid posting on the natural disaster currently wreaking havoc across Japan, but I simply could not let this one slip past me.

"A Lesson in Social Media Ignorance"

Check that out. The good people over at were kind enough to post a small collection of what has to be the most idiotic hate-mongering since American Muslims were afraid to leave their homes in the wake of September 11th.

My personal favorite is the status in the top left of the collection, from Robert Lopez. Clad in his army fatigue and clutching his rifle with a death grip, this asshole loudly, and proudly, proclaims "getting a little payback for Pearl Harbor. they thought we forgot about that BS, didn't they?" Sweet Jesus.

The really frightening thing is we're at a point now with our exposure to social media that no one can really be expected to be ignorant of the fact that anything you post on these public forums is fair game for the viral media frenzy, and therefore open to the world. Maybe, just maybe a handful of these postings are done in the vein of black humor, which I can more than appreciate. But the problem is, in my limited experience with the fevered denizens of this police state I have learned that a frighteningly large portion of our country has no real clue what black humor is, and rather these statements are driven from a oil-pumping heart devoid of anything but nationalism, fanaticism, and racism.

And as for the Japanese, my heart goes out to you. And my one piece of advice...with all the radiation problems you're having...keep an eye out on the local lizard population.

Sorry...couldn't help myself. I told you, I'd been trying to avoid the topic for a few days. How's that for black humor?

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Dancing Bear

Augustus Owsley Stanley III
Rest In Peace

Psychedelic icon Owsley Stanley dies in Australia

Owsley passed away today in a car crash in Australia. The legendary ground breaker of the 60s psychedelic movement was, according to that article, "believed to be 76."

Considered by many to be the father of the psychedelic movement on the San Francisco Bay area of the 1960s, Owsley's accolades are too numerous, and too outlandish, to ever hope to be sufficiently covered here.

So I recommend you take a moment to investigate the man's legacy on your own. I leave you with a quote from Owsley, taken from The National Post article regarding his philosophy on his "criminal activities", and a song which his legend inspired.

“What I did was a community service, the way I look at it. I was punished for political reasons. Absolutely meaningless. Was I a criminal? No. I was a good member of society. Only my society and the one making the laws are different.”

Keep On Dancing, Bear

Saturday, March 12, 2011


So, what's better than Saturday Morning Cartoons and a bowl of sugary, teeth-rotting cereal?

Saturday Morning Religious Satire!

Words can not even begin to explain how much I love this.

On that note, I promised myself I was going to keep today's update short. It's the weekend people, and while I'm not sure about your own corner of the world, for once it is gorgeous on Long Island.

Carpe Diem
Seize the Carp

Friday, March 11, 2011

"I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"

If you ask me, life is all about finding those Silver Linings, and embracing them when you can. With this morning's news report bearing a striking air of apocalyptic tidings, I didn't expect to find much of a Silver Lining in today's cloud. Record earthquake wreaking havoc across Japan, continued unrest in the Middle East and Northern Africa, and now reports of protesters in Saudi Arabia facing violent suppression from state security forces, the headlines today certainly carry enough doom and gloom.

But I have learned that the Silver Linings are never to be found on the front page, but rather buried back near the classifieds. And what better Silver Lining to brighten all this tragedy than this report postulating that Mr. Doom & Gloom himself, Glenn Beck, may no longer call Fox News home after his contract expires in December.

Citing a decline in ratings and increasing difficulty in obtaining respectable advertisers for Beck's programming, The New York Times is reporting that Fox is analyzing the possibility of a future without the iconic figure.

I'm reminded of Bill Hicks' bit about the pygmy tribe attacking the great elephant beast. Seems eerily applicable with this story.

Sure it's about a President and not a media icon...but that pygmy dance seems awfully inviting.

Now with it still only March, it is far too early to tell if Beck will truly be departing from the network. Even the Times mentions in the article that this announcement may only be a negotiating tool to be used by the network exec's to facilitate negotiations with Beck later in the year. But maybe, just maybe, if we're all really good for the rest of the year, Santa Claus won't have to come down our chimneys this Christmas. Rather, we can wake up on that early morning and behold the wonders of the miracle of Christmas by turning on our TV sets and being greeted with the announcement that this cretin will no longer be invading our homes through the air waves.

Gives me something to fondly dream of in these troubled times.

It's gonna be Sweet

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Anniversary of getting the shaft!

Ho-ho! Morning friends!

I was a tad uninspired this morning as I contemplated what to cover on my daily update. To battle this, I hopped on over to to see if anything exciting had happened on this day in history. And boy oh boy, what an interesting day March 10th has been in years past!

On this date in 1876, the first phone call ever was made!

On this date in 1910, China ended slavery!

On this date in 1960, the USSR agreed to stop nuclear testing!

On this date in 1972, the USSR performs more nuclear testing! (ironic, huh?)

On this date in 2000, the Dow Jones market peaked at 5132.52, "signaling the beginning of the end of the dot-com boom."

And my personal favorite, on this date in 1862, the United States started issuing its first distribution of paper money!!!

Now, while it wasn't until 1933 that we started removing gold coins from circulation, and not until 1975 that we completely abolished the gold standard (thank you, Nixon), today we can still celebrate the fateful decision to start putting our financial faith on little pieces of paper touting "In God We Trust".

And why did we ween ourselves off the gold standard? To promote financial stability! By reducing our reliance on having a physical backing of precious metal for every bill printed, we allow the Fed to exert a more stable level of control in guiding our economy. Thank god our predecessors had the profound foresight to enact these policy changes which have so helped keep this nation financially solvent.

And thus began the cloak and daggers acquiescence of the people's democracy in favor of the tyrannical rule of the Federal Reserve, and the forced bent knee to the international banks. In the words of George Carlin, slavery in 21st Century America isn't going to come with whips and chains, but with credit cards and Smiley-Face T-shirts. Go back to bed America.

Go Back to Bed America

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

"My only friend....The End...."

Here's a good continuation for my post about the Holy Rollers canvassing the country with their Revelations literature.

Mass Fish Death in California!

Yes, that's right! The string of recent unexplained mass death continues, now in California. Much like the events earlier this year where the mass deaths of millions of birds and fish struck areas like the mid-west, the south, and even overseas, The Associate Press is reporting a new flare up of unexplained expiration, this time of millions of sardines in a harbor in California.

This article seems to be making less of a stink than the ones I was reading a few months ago. Before, the articles had a tone of trumpeting their lack of an explanation for why hundreds of thousands of aerial and aquatic wild life were mysteriously perishing, but now it would appear as if this Grim Phenomenon is old hat.

Apparently, for reasons open for speculation, the sardines crammed themselves into the harbor and essentially "got lost", trapping themselves until they had depleted the harbor's oxygen supply. Remarkable. So many friggin' sardines that they cover the surface of the water like a skim of oil slick, as well as amounting to a "12-18 inch layer" on the floor of the marina. I dunno, maybe I don't know as much as I thought I did about the ocean, but fuck that's a lot of fish!

You know, there are a lot of occurrences in nature that appear to be odd and random at first glance. The symbiotic relationship of the colorful clown fish and the deadly anenome comes to mind. But nature doesn't do things without meaning or cause. That's just how evolution works, just because we don't understand something doesn't mean it doesn't have a purpose. Yet I hesitate to claim I know what purpose the sudden death of millions of finger-long fish fulfills for nature.

In fact, only one purpose comes to mind. A warning. An alert.

A clue?

Sing it, Jim!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

"It sounds a bit stupid, but for me rock and roll [. . .] comes before everything else."

It may no longer be new, as famously expressed in the epic closing seconds of SLC Punk, but god damnit it's still hot.

Not only is the track awesome, but I love the background voice-over of Tony James giving an interview (at least I think that's Tony James, I'm not too well versed in Gen X trivia, if anyone wants to correct me on that go for it).

Bloody brilliant chaps, well done.

Monday, March 7, 2011


To all my loyal readers and fans - apologies for not posting yesterday. A bit of a pain in the gulliver, you know. But all is well, now.

Welly welly welly well! The beginning of a new week is upon us, my little droogies! And what better way to flash yourself up for a bit of the ultra-violence than a quick post from your favorite blog? Other than a quick stint at the Korova Milk Bar, that is.

And to start this week off right, we turn the spotlight on The Road Trip to the End of the World.

This CNN article is a lengthy piece of a group of Christians who have taken to the road in their Holy Caravan warning the masses of the impending return of the Lord. May 11th, 2011, get ready. My own beliefs in the surety of the impending apocalypse aside, it's absolutely fascinating how these people are choosing to spend their last weeks on Earth.

Instead of seeking quality time with their family, these self-proclaimed "ambassadors" are touring the country spreading warning that people get their affairs in order before the rapture. The footage of the true believers handing out literature at Tampa's pirate festival is especially rewarding.

What I find truly fascinating is how adamant these people hold to the date of the end-times they have divined from their book, while discarding any other theory as blasphemy and heresy. Never mind that Harold Camping, the man responsible for fact-checking this date of prophecy, was already wrong once in predicting that September 6th 1994 would be the day of days. Hey, at least the Mayans only predicted one date. If 12/21/12 comes and goes without the thunderous arrival of the great feather-serpent, we don't get to have the Mayans scramble to re-do the math and come up with a second guess.

Oh well. Only time will tell. Gotta admit though, it'd be pretty damn sweet if we all got to witness the end of time in our own lives...

Bring it on!!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

This is the Report from the Action Centralists: Conserve Your Water!!

Today marks the day of birth of one of my best friends, and in honor of that we're gonna toss up a little mini-celebration here on the blog for him.

And we shall call that celebration the Sunshine Daydream.

Here's China Cat Sunflower off the unreleased Sunshine Daydream tapes. Never released because the band thought the footage got "a little to real", Sunshine Daydream is some of the rawest footage you can find.

Listen closely to the announcer at the beginning. Brilliant.

Happy Birthday Onip. Thanks for turning me on to this one, bro.

Friday, March 4, 2011

\m/ FRIDAY \m/

It's Friday people.


And in honor of this most glorious of work-days, let's see if we can't mentally fast forward ourselves a little closer to the summer festival season with a little jammy-jam.

08/30/08 - Turin, New York: moe.down 9 - Snow Ridge Ski Area

moe. (feat. Jeff Austin) - Bring You Down

OK, I can't believe I've been doing this for nearly 3 weeks without having embedded a moe. jam yet. Astonished, in fact.

This selection here is one of my favorite sit-ins with moe. ever. From his opening whisk of mandolin at 0:40, to the fire he starts throwing down at around 6:30, Jeff Austin brings a whole new taste to Bring You Down. Absolute high-light of the weekend next to Cornmeal's jam on Macintyre Range into 32 Things. Nothing better than moe. throwing down the bluest of the grass. \mm/

And on that note, get off your computer. Get out of your house. The weekend is fast approaching and its friggin' gorgeous outside. Go enjoy it.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

"Just because you're paranoid...

...don't mean I'm not after you."

Ahh, the truth sounds so simple when it's sung. Thank you Mr. Cobain.

Newsflash: Rolling Stone are nothing more than a bunch of corporate shills tap-dancing to the tune of the elitists that control the media in this country.

Yesterday Rolling Stone came out with an article titled:
Meet Alex Jones, the Talk Radio Host Behind Charlie Sheen's Crazy Rants: The most paranoid man in America is trying to overthrow the 'global Stasi Borg state,' one conspiracy theory at a time

It would appear that in the wake of the tornado frenzy media circus surrounding Charlie Sheen that Alex Jones, long time friend of Sheen's who frequently would have Sheen as a guest on his daily radio show, has been swept up in the mania.

Rolling Stone isn't the only media outline shining a little light on Jones. If you haven't seen it go check out the video clip of Alex chatting with the lovely ladies of The View. I haven't seen Baba Wawa with such a constipated look on her face since I was in grade school. Brilliant.

But back to Rolling Stone. I remember a time when that magazine had integrity, to an extent at least. I'll be the first to admit that Alex Jones may have a tendency to take the ball and run with it like Forrest Gump steaming back to the locker room mid-game, but on the same page he makes some very valid remarks, and is very well researched and supported.

To so offhandedly cast aside his value to society with this printed attack against the integrity of his program is worse than irresponsible. While most people today realize Rolling Stone to be the bubble-gum pop marketing tool that it is (see last months cover with Justin Bieber sporting a Clash-esque punk rock leather jacket - I'd post it here but I'm not exaggerating when I say I almost spilled the contents of my stomach the last time I saw it), many members of the younger population in their formative years still take stock in its stories due to the reputation it still carries in some small way from the days of Hunter S. Thompson's time with the publication.

To me, the fact of the matter is that while Jones may come off as eccentric and paranoid, I honestly think that those are two of the most undervalued virtues in our society today. In the words of William S. Burroughs, "Sometimes paranoia is just having all the facts." And since when has eccentricity been a bad thing? I thought this country put stock in individuality!

I'm not going to tell you to believe everything Alex Jones says. And I'm not going to tell you that he is a paranoid wing-nut screaming in the wind, either. I want you to expose yourself to what Alex is really saying. And then, take the time to research some of the things he's talking about on your own time. And then, draw your own fucking conclusions. That's the important thing here.

You know, when Martin Luther first left the Catholic Church to start the Protestant Reformation in the 16th century, one of his 95 Theses that was nailed to the doors of his local church, along with complaints surrounding the ineffability of the pope and the practice of plenary indulgence, was that the sermons and bible readings were spoken in Latin. Many of the common folk in Germany, and most other European countries, had only the barest knowledge of Latin, maybe a word or two here and there. As such, they relied on the priests to translate and disseminate the teachings of the bible without being able to personally examine the text and make any sense of it. This made it rather simple for corrupt members of the clergy to make minor changes in the messages over the centuries to the point that one of the results was a hard-held belief that one could get into heaven with nothing more than a heavy purse and a freely giving hand to the church. Martin Luther's advocacy for the church to begin adjusting to spreading the word in the native tongue of the locals was one of his beliefs that ended with his excommunication.

I may not believe or agree with all of Luther's thoughts, or his theology, but god damn do I love the idea of allowing the people to decide for themselves. And in a big way I see a lot of parallels between Luther's battle against the monolithic Catholic Church and Jones' battle against the information monopoly that is worked by the media giants of our country. Take time to listen to what the man has to say before you grab your torches and pitchforks.

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me

Thank you, and goodnight.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Whoa whoa whoaaa....

OK, don't really know what to say about this one.

Catching up on the headlines on CNN this morning, I came across this story. Apparently, Sirhan Sirhan, the man who was convicted in the 1968 assassination of Robert F. Kennedy, is coming up for a parole hearing.

Not only does he have a coming parole hearing, but Sirhan also has the support of two respected psychologists, and William Weisel, a reporter who was struck by a stray bullet when RFK was attacked.

Now admittedly, I know very little about the circumstances surrounding RFK's assassination. I know the man took the California Primary, and was shot that night. I had assumed that a man who was convicted of murdering a presidential candidate would be a prime subject for capital punishment. According to this article, those responsible for presiding over his case agreed with me at one time, and originally sentenced the man to death only to flip the decision 3 years down the road and slap him with life in prison.

Now I am not saying that I am a huge supported of the death penalty, I'm just saying that it would be nice if we had a little consistency about these kinds of things. A man shoots and kills a presidential candidate and wounds 5 others, and is given life in prison, while California has executed a man as recently as 2006 for a triple murder.

Clarence Ray Allen was convicted of the murder of a young woman who had ratted him out concerning a burglary Allen had committed with his son and some other conspirators. Later, in prison, he organized the murders of 3 other people who were to testify as witnesses in the original case against him by persuading his former cellmate to commit the crime once he was released.

So why was this man, who only personally killed one person, given the lethal injection for a crime that was committed 10 years after Sirhan shot Kennedy. Sirhan not only shot RFK 3 times and killed him, but also severely injured 5 members of his entourage. Yet Allen is dead, and the state is still paying to keep Sirhan alive and entrenched in the black morass of the legal system.

But back to this article. Beyond that fact that Sirhan is being considered, and in certain circles supported for parole, the article from CNN drops a few other snippets in its body that raise an alarming eyebrow. As I mentioned earlier, I know virtually nothing about the circumstances surrounding RFK's death, but I certainly found this interesting. The article talks about an audio recording that survived the event, the only recording of any kind of the assassination.

The Pruszynski recording "clearly showed that 13 shots were fired in the pantry, and Sirhan's gun had only eight shots, so it definitely means there was a second shooter,"

Ho Ho! The time-honored "Magic Gun" theory! Not only that, but Sirhan's attorney is claiming, and supported by certified psychologists, that Sirhan may not be guilty, and had probably not been working alone. According to his attorneys, Sirhan has literally NO recollection of any of the events that transpired that evening. He confessed to the crime as he was there that night, had a pistol with him, and that pistol had been proven to be fired, but according to the defense Sirhan confessed only because he had been told he committed the murder, and due to his memory loss simply believed the accusations.

Now I am going to stop before I start drawing wild conclusions. But it wasn't all that long ago that I schlepped myself through the public compulsory education system of this country, and I want to know why I never learned about any of this. Hell, I didn't even know about anything surrounding John F Kennedy's assassination until I started looking into it myself. Why are we not discussing these things in the classroom? Why are we not exposing our children to the honest reality of whats happening in this country? I understand the importance of having a working knowledge surrounding how this country was formed, but we are reaching a point in our national history where our time line is too long to be effectively covered during our formative educational years. We need to start making decisions on what is important to be covered in history lessons. Personally, I think I would have been better served being exposed to the details surrounding both of the Kennedy assassinations than week long focus studies on Eli Whitney and the cotton gin. Call me crazy.

I dunno, waxing insanity over here in my discourse without a doubt. Thank god this story will be lost in a matter of hours, if not minutes, as we get bombarded with more madness from Charlie Sheen. And the media circus continues, dragging the national eye away from things like Sirhan, Egypt, and Libya. You know, the boring stuff. But it's alright, we all really gotta get an inside look at how Mr. Sheen is delivering the goods every god damn day.

Thanks Charlie. Keep delivering the goods. We're all "bi-winning" now.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

"And furthermore Susan, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised..."

Today on It's Just a Ride:

New Plans to tighten restrictions on marijuana sales in Amsterdam!


So here's the story. Apparently, the governments of the world theater are starting to get pretty upset that everyone is having such a good time over in Holland. Holland has started instating tighter restrictions on the sales of marijuana in their world famous Coffee Shops. These restrictions, which are already in place, essentially turn these Coffee Shops into Members Only organizations. This effectively makes it impossible for foreigners to become members of these clubs, preventing them from accessing the sweet green medicine inside.

While not as an extreme an example, this does bring to mind memories of the US Drug War's tampering with the country of Nepal in the 1970s. The US Drug Enforcement Agency, back in 1976, used disbursements of foreign aid to effect the Nepalese national platform on what had been a well established hash and marijuana culture and trade market. Essentially, the DEA went in and riled things up to change the paradigm of the Nepalese in order to illegalize cannabis.

This had a violent and profound change on the social climate of Nepal. What was once a haven of peaceful and relaxed tourism for Americans during the 60s and 70s with an open acceptance of marijuana commerce drastically changed over the course of a few short years. Harmony was replaced by a cut-throat war between the Nepalese Military and a budding yet driven black market. What was once a peaceful paradise in one of the only established Hindu countries in the world was violently transformed into yet another nation beleaguered by the vile effects of the international tampering of the DEA in order to pursue our agenda of a drug-free world.

Now, the point of all of this in Holland presumably is to curtail the influx of marijuana from decriminalized Holland into neighboring European countries and America. A new conservative slant in the Dutch government has taken the stand that Holland needs to drastically change its international image of being so open and welcoming to the tourism of stoners.

While I do not have the actual figures showing what percentage of Amsterdam's tourism is related to travelers wanting to experience the Coffee Shops and pot culture over seas, I'd be willing to bet a pretty penny that marijuana has a higher driving force than say, the Anne Frank Museum. Personally, I don't know anyone who went to Amsterdam for any other reason than to be able to experience the feeling of legally getting high.

I'm not saying that these new regulations are going to cause a societal change in Holland as large as what happened in Nepal, but it would be very naive to think that there won't be some negative effects of these changes. Amsterdam, with legal prostitution and decriminalized marijuana, has virtually no black market to deal with.

We'll see how long that remains the status quo when Holland starts losing dramatic chunks of their tourism dollars. If capitalism has taught us nothing else, there will always be someone ready to make a quick buck when there is a void in a profitable market. In my opinion, it won't be long before we have drug dealers back on the streets of Amsterdam, hocking their wares on street corners near hotels and hostels.

It will be interesting to see how far this all goes in the coming months and years. Don't touch that dial, kids. We'll keep it coming.

And I honestly thought we were moving past this Reefer Madness bullshit. God damn my optimistic idealism.