Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Reagan you SICKO

It's official. The American population is retarded.

Or rather, at least according to a recent Gallup Poll, around 1 in 5 American's are retarded. That's right! For the third time in the last decade, American's have voted Ronnie Reagan as their favorite Commander in Chief this country has ever seen.

Yet we still wonder why the rest of the global community thinks we have a screw or two loose. Forget the fact that 19% of those polled think that Ronnie topped Abe Lincoln (who received 14% of the vote in second place), but we actually celebrate the fact that we let a former president of the Screen Actor's Guild hold the highest office of our government.

Now, not all the results of the poll induced such despair as Reagan being at the top. Thankfully, Lyndon Johnson (who took over after Kennedy's assassination), Andrew Jackson (who so skillfully bullied around the Native Americans that Adolf Hitler said he would never have been able to be so successful with the Holocaust without Jackson's notes), and Richard Nixon (don't really need to go into specifics on this one) all received less that 0.5% of the vote.

It is my belief that this poll is a testament to the old maxim, "Out of sight, out of mind." As noted in the article, 4 of the last 5 Presidents all hold spots in the top 10. The American public simply can not be bothered to remember and recognize the accomplishments of men such as Franklin D. Roosevelt, who was actually placed lower than Obama with less than 5% of the vote. Hell, even Bill Clinton beat out JFK. I'm a fan of blowies in the Oval Office too guys, but come on, better than JFK? Really?

Now I realize that most people who voted Reagan into the top spot are probably making their decision based on several key accomplishments, such as the end of the Cold War, a slashing of the inflation rate, and huge federal tax cuts. However, while these tax cuts made life a little easier for most Americans who were now receiving a little more spare change in each paycheck, he accomplished these cuts by digging in to Medicaid, food stamps, and Social Security. It was on the back of these cuts that Reagan, despite lowering taxes for John Q. Taxpayer, was still able to dump an additional 40% increase into the defense budget in his first term alone.

So, was Reagan really our best President? Sure! If you were in the top percentile of American's who did not suffer from the cuts made to federal aid programs, and banked on the tax cuts that largely favored the wealthy. If, however, you were a poor handicapped person living on the graces of Social Security, then you probably took offense to his administration's attempts to cull the disabled from the rolls of those who were eligible for Social Security.

And let us not forget that Reagan was the first president to allow the national deficit to push up into the TRILLIONS. During his second term, despite a hard-line platform to reduce and maintain government spending, the deficit jumped from $997 billion to $2.85 trillion, an increase of over 300%. An important tidbit in light of all the current debate surrounding Obama's attempts to balance the national checkbook, I'd say.

C'mon people. In the words of Bill Hicks, squeegee your third eye, wake the fuck up and realize that you're out there trusting the words of an actor in front of a camera. The man made his career playing a role on a stage, and if you think he was doing anything but as he was paraded in front of news cameras with that Hollywood smile and elitist rhetoric, then I'd recommend looking into the possible benefits of a lobotomy. Hell, at this point, it couldn't hurt. Don't get me wrong, I'm not just attacking Reagan here. They're all scum. To paraphrase another counter-culture icon, FUCK all these "smiley-glad-hands" and their hidden agendas. Stop feeding off all this bullshit you hear on the nightly news and start the Revolution!

I leave you now with an accurate representation, albeit a tad exaggerated, of how I think Reagan really felt about the general public.


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