Friday, September 16, 2011

How d'ya do??

To the fearless Massapequa, NY man that expressed such wanton perversion in an area church yesterday: I Salute You!

From News12 Long Island: Police search for man who exposed himself inside Massapequa church

First, the facts. Around 1:00 PM yesterday afternoon, an African-American gentleman approached an elderly woman in the chapel of the Our Lady of Lords in Massapequa. Apparently the man sat down and proceeded to expose himself to the elderly woman, who screamed in terror at the offending sexual appendage. Summoned by the screams of horror, a worker at the church gave pursuit to the pervert, but thankfully he was able to escape.

Some of you are probably doing a double-take over my choice of the word "thankfully" in that last sentence. Surely I can't mean to express gratitude that such a morally bankrupt individual appears to be escaping justice, can I? The answer is, in fact, yes. Thank the lord this man escaped to the open skies of freedom. And here's why.

If you only clicked the link above to read the brief story, go the extra mile and watch the attached video. In the video comes what has to be the best 60 second parade of sheeple bemoaning the moral collapse of America that I have ever seen. With a space between their eyes fit to drive a Mack truck through, and shock painted on their faces more clearly than a boardwalk caricature, this video is a pure gold mine. Quotes like "I think the evil one is well and live, roaming the Earth", and "Thank God there weren't any kids in there!", these mini-interviews do a great job of showing how completely paralyzed and indignant these God-fearing citizens can become when a flaccid penis is introduced to their hallowed halls.

Ironic, considering that churches have been the number one site for sexual abuse for the last 30-odd years. And no, I have no data to back up that statement, I'm blatantly making this up. But it still feels right.

It is my honest belief that the church by and large needs to evolve out of its era of sexual oppression. These Dark Ages of Genitalia have gone on too long. Of course, it's no foreskin off my hide how they choose to conduct themselves, but maybe if they were a little more open about sex, there wouldn't be so much cause for scandal within their walls. After all, as any child knows, there is no better way to raise the drive for a man to do something than to tell him it is forbidden.

Note: Really only wanted to use this clip for the minute from 1:30 - 2:30. But feel free to enjoy the whole clip.

Enjoy the weekend, my psychonaut companions. Thrust your hand into the forbidden cookie jar of life and grab yourself some flavor.

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