Can someone please explain to me why the hell I'm supposed to give a fuck about the Royal Wedding? I thought we officially separated ourselves from the British Royal Family centuries ago.
You know, I kind of figured that with the gross economic strife the global population is currently facing, we as a country might have for once finally gotten together and said enough is enough. Enough of being slapped in the face with elitist opulence while we painfully pass thicker and thicker stacks of tear-stained currency through the window at gas stations. Enough of watching our media play lip service to the real issues while veritable armies of cameras bombard the ceremonies.
Not only that, but seriously, why the fuck do we even care about this kid getting married in the first place? Royalty is just the extreme of senseless celebrity. Celebrity is pretty senseless in the first place, but you're talking about some blond-haired fuck who literally did nothing more than crawl out of the Royal Birth Canal, and for his troubles is adored world wide by swaths of cross-eyed imbeciles. At least Kim Kardashian had to work some big black cock to get her face onto billboards. People say she doesn't deserve her celebrity status, but I say she fucking earned it compared to this twat (Fucking earned it! Get it? Ha HA!). I just don't get it.
It's a great day to start again.