Tuesday, April 26, 2011

"You spin me right round baby, right round."

Morning Freaks

Once again, allow me to apologize for my lackadaisical nature in updating this thing. I wish I had some compelling excuse, but the truth of the matter is I'm just a lazy fuck and it slipped my mind for a few days. My bad.

Anyway, let's get going.

I figure the best way to jump back into this after my brief stint of going AWOL is to dive headfirst into a bright, cheery, crowd pleasing topic: death.

And Vinyly, a company out of England, is offering a hip new way to handle the usually drab affair of what to do with your final earthly remains. Get yourself cremated and pressed into a vinyl for your friends to enjoy for years to come! And Vinyly offers a wide variety of recording options, from a favorite mix to a personal message, to even being able to record your last will and testament on a vinyl created out of your own corpse! Righteous!

Of course, this service isn't just limited to people, you can also go ahead and have the family dog pressed onto an album. Though with a price tag of roughly £3,000, it'd better have been one awesome dog. As far as people go though, compare that rate against the going price on the most modest casket selections, not to mention the additional real estate fees of obtaining a lot in a cemetery, I'd say that getting pressed into a record is a pretty hot plan.

So, loyal readers, when I finally shuffle off this mortal coil and head for the next dimension, remember to ship me to England and get me pressed into a copy of Anthem of the Sun by the Dead. And for all you pranksters thinking it'd be much funnier to press me into Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse, remember, Karma is a real thing. And if I have to spent the rest of eternity with my remains resonating to that shit, or any other bubble-gum pop offering, I will come back an haunt you. Filthy savages.

Fuckin' slay it, Pig. Forever 27.

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