Monday, August 15, 2011

God Hates Country Music

Either that, or He really enjoys pointing out the ineptitude of stage hands in about as gruesome a fashion possible.

From The Huffington Post: Indiana State Fair Stage Collapses: At Least 4 Dead

Note: At the time of this posting, the number of reported dead has climbed to 5.

Anxiously awaiting a performance from the country act Sugarland, fans at the Indiana State Fair braved the elements to be in the crowd, hooting and hollering in anticipation. The loud sounds of revelry awoke the anger and ire of the Lord, who then responded in a fury of the power of the divine, sweeping the stage from its supports and sending the scaffolding crashing down upon those foolish enough to want to be in the front row, particularly those in the vaunted VIP section, who actually paid EXTRA money to gain admittance to this travesty.

Unfortunately it would appear that in his zeal to scourge the earth of these evolutionary mistakes, these bipedal troglodytes still waiting on the advent of thumbs, the good Lord was a little hasty in his dispensing of justice. The stage collapse occurred before Sugarland was able to take the stage, and we will be forced to suffer the banality of their "music", at least until the next Perfect Storm tears down on the Indiana State Fair Grounds. And thankfully, judging by comments from Indiana governor Mitch Daniels, we will have another opportunity to strike again. Claiming that the freak wind gust was nothing more than a fluke, Daniels is displaying optimism in the continued success of "the finest event of its kind in America".

So with the tally rolling in at 5 dead and dozens injured, we can only hope that by the time next summer rolls around, both Sugarland, and their fans in the "Sugar Pit", will forget this tragedy and set the pins up again. Here's hoping God picks up that 7-10 split.

Because no one needs to suffer through music like this. It's simply inhumane.

1 comment:

  1. Bravo. I am speechless. This may be the most perfect blog post in history.