Buckle Up, Bitches

I'm Back!!

Alright, as per usual when I inexcusably miss several days of posting, allow me to open with a quick apology. The irony of my last post proclaiming I would be spending more time on this being immediately followed by a long absence is not lost on me, and I am sorry.

I always have such a difficult time putting anything together after a lengthy absence. So many things have happened in the world worthy of comment, its hard to just pick one. And also, while I'm not using this to excuse my recent A.W.O.L. status, I was mostly without my laptop these past days, be it due to necessary technical repairs or the fact that I had social engagements that were just too damned important to stay jacked in. And while the respite from the information super-high way was certainly appreciated, it definitely helps you to appreciate just how disconnected you feel without access to streaming international news updates at your fingertips.

But enough of all that morose crap. It's a celebration bitches! The rapture has come, the rapture has passed, and maybe I just don't know anyone personally that got taken up in the celestial chariot of fire, but it seems to me that life is going on, business as usual. We made it!

Though I will admit, in a bout of unreasonable fear and anxiety, you bet your ass I got myself out of the gridlock bottleneck that is the greater metropolitan area of New York City. I'm telling you, friends, after a spending a little time back in my old stomping grounds of New Hampshire, I'm finding it harder and harder to comprehend why anyone would live in New York of their own free will. I mean, if I've learned nothing else from apocalyptic movies out of Hollywood, it's that the last place on the planet you want to be in the event of a cataclysmic disaster is anywhere within a 50 mile radius of the island of Manhattan.

But let's forget the fantastical side of the argument and just think about reality. God damn do I miss being somewhere that is small enough that people actually are held responsible for displaying a little common courtesy. You can actually physically feel your pulse slow as you cross the border into the land of the Free or the Dead. It baffles me that people are willing to shell out s much as they do to support the essentials to live somewhere like Long Island. I can maybe, maybe understand the attraction to the actual city, especially if you have a high paying job that demands the location, but these people that hump through the bump and grind on the daily just so they can force out that hipster smirk and say "Oh, I live in New York City" just confuse me. In the words of Peter from Mike Judge's Office Space, "Human beings aren't meant to live like this, damnit!"

And with that, roll the credits. The black screen with the flowery script declaring ~fin~ in that haughty french independent fashion. Let's put this disjointed beast to bed. I'll be back tomorrow, and I mean it, "for realz" this time.

Much love



"As your attorney, I recommend you get the hell out of here."