Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Guns! The Bayonettes! The Gore and Death! THE CANNONBALLS!!!

I'm back, kids!

So, like I said a little over a week ago, I was running all over the northeast chasing moe. I missed a few posts, and I'm sorry for that, but some times you just have to damn the weather and answer the call.

Luckily for the rest of you, moe. isn't doing much until moe.down 12, so you don't have to worry about me taking another leave of absence until Labor Day weekend.

And with that, there is only one way to break back into this cycle here. And that's with a story about some Monkeys on Ecstasy.

From People's Daily Online: Monkeys Trained as Battlefield Killers in Afghanistan

OK, they're not really on ecstasy, but they're still fascinating little primates.

In what is being seen as an effort to combat the American tactic of using unmanned drone strikes against their enemies, Taliban forces have reportedly been training monkeys in the lethal arts of warfare. Armed with AK-47s and Bren light machine guns, these monkey soldiers have been spotting patrolling the Pakistan-Afghanistan border.

According to the article however, this is not the first time monkeys have been trained for combat. Apparently the CIA were the first to try and train primates for war, to be used in Vietnam in the 60s and 70s. The article neglects to mention how successful these attempts may or may not have been, and I'm guessing the success rates weren't too hot, seeing as this is the first I'm hearing of armed chimps being used in war.

You have to wonder what effect instructing these animals in the use of weapons might have on the course of their natural evolution. Is it possible that we might inadvertently be pressing the fast forward button on these little critters? Perhaps the Rise of the Planet of the Apes is indeed upon us.

Enjoy what's left of your weekend boys and girls. I'll be back tomorrow, same Monkey time, same Monkey channel.

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